In this episode, Jeffrey Saad dives into the pivotal defining moments that have shaped his journey. From personal struggles to life-changing decisions, this episode explores how these defining life moments led to valuable lessons in growth, resilience, and purpose. Whether you’re reflecting on your own tipping points or seeking guidance in making tough choices, you’ll find inspiration and practical wisdom in these stories. Tune in to hear how embracing both challenges and triumphs can transform your path.
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My Life’s Defining Moments And The Lessons Learned
Introduction To Defining Life Moments
How are you? I hope you’re off to a great day. Life is beautiful. I’m 57 years old almost and I was thinking, what a great journey it has been, but I was thinking why has it been a great journey? It’s sure not because nothing has gone wrong. It’s like a battery, you need the negative end to get it charged. It can’t be all positive. I wanted to share what I consider the defining moments of my life and how they’ve shaped the things that have come to fruition.
Life’s like a battery—you need the negative end to get charged. It can't all be positive. Embrace the tough times; they fuel your journey. Share on XThe idea is hopefully to help you. Very simply, make no mistake. This show is about leaving you better than I found you. That is my singular goal. I hope that you can read some of these stories and these tipping point moments and they can help you with whatever challenges you’re going on. Let’s start back as a young child.
I’m thirteen years old. My sister can kick my butt, so there’s no way I’m playing football, as I’ve talked about in the past. I decided to go into this restaurant behind my junior high school, The Piccadilly. The first amazing decision that I made because it was in line with who I was. I wasn’t this jock sports guy. Who could you be if you weren’t who you thought you were?
I realized that going into The Piccadilly and falling in love with food, which you’ve heard from past episodes, I won’t belabor it. It was a great decision for me. That was a moment where it said, “This is what I should be doing.” That’s when and how I fell in love with food. Another defining moment in that same period, I’m in junior high school and this guy is giving me a hard time.
A Defining Moment: Standing Up For Myself
Maybe it was because I was the only thirteen-year-old in Home Economics when everyone else was in sports. I was the only guy in this Home Economics class and I loved being in the kitchen and doing all these things. Anyway, this guy was pushing me around and I decided to push back and we all met outside after school.
Everyone got in a circle and we faced off. He went, “Wham” and punched me right in the face. I was out. That was it. The fight was over. That was a defining moment because be careful. As my Krav Maga instructor said years ago, “Assume that everybody you come up against knows 10% more than you.” It’s about keeping your ego in check but it also was the thing that triggered me.
It was probably for the wrong reasons. It was ego, “I’m never going to get beat up again.” However, it was what I needed because I was a 110-pound kid when everyone else was 150 or 160-plus. Me and my buddy started working out then. That black eye that I had to walk around and shame with for the next ten days in junior high school was humiliating.
I already wasn’t popular. I already had these big brown frame glasses and the perm that my mom gave me. I was not already in great shape and now I had a black eye on top of it but it got me working out. I didn’t want to work out at the junior high school because I felt like a loser. I didn’t want to be around all the jocks.
My friend and I went to this Hole In The Wall gym and they said, “We’ll give you a free membership if you clean up after us.” We would go around at these bodybuilders, these amazing guys. We’d clean up their weights. We’d spot them and they started teaching us. The next thing, three years later, I’m 185 pounds and in great shape for my age.
That was a tipping point moment and then, I continued to pursue that thought of “I need to be able to protect myself. I need to be in good shape.” I started Taekwondo in my freshman year in college at Iowa State University with Master Pock. This guy was like a 7th-degree black belt, which is pretty rare. I was testing for my 3rd degree when I blew my knee out, but 7th or 8th degree is next-level stuff.
I still remember this guy. I’m sure he was 50. At the time, I thought he was 70 because I was eighteen and when you’re eighteen, everybody is 70 if they’re not 20. He would stand there talking to us and he would lift his leg slowly, straight up into the air over his head. He’d be talking to us while his leg was straight in the air.
I was like, “Damn,” but the lesson was, I remember saying to him after class, “That’s cool and stuff, but you’re not sparring people or fighting people that are 10 feet tall. What’s the point?” Another great decision. He said, “If you can’t reach that level in a relaxed state, you’ll never be able to reach it in the spur of the moment when you need it.”
It was the first time that I had been introduced to the concept of If you aim for here, reach for the stars, at least you’ll land here, but if your goal is to barely be able to kick somebody in the head when you’re not stretched, you’re cold, and it’s in the spur of the moment in a dark alley or whatever the cliche goes that you’re going to need to defend yourself, you’re not going to be ready.
That was a great lesson for me because it was about always reaching further, and always training to a level that you probably will never need to use, but it makes this level not only doable but easy. It’s the same thing now in real estate with my clients. I’m always pushing myself, know the contracts perfectly, know the new laws, and push myself to be ready for any possible challenge that comes up so I can protect my clients and serve them well.
Guess what? Because I’m always prepared, it ends up being easy to get the result and to make things happen. That was an amazing tipping point lesson in having a way of doing business and thinking about life that is going to help you. The funny part about all that is what the best move is. As you may have heard me say in past episodes of all these martial arts, I can jump, spin, and do hook kicks in the air. I can do the splits. I can punch very fast. The best move is a hug. Just hug.
Making Tough Decisions In College
The irony of learning to fight is that you never need it and never want to but that’s also the beauty of it. Incredible preparation means you don’t even need it. That was one of the biggest lessons. The next lesson is a little more intense. I’m with this girl through all of college and we get engaged senior year in college. Her parents have the wedding hall booked, they’re getting organized with invitations, and I bail. I broke up with her and I said, “I can’t do this.”
It was probably one of the hardest things that I’ve ever done in my life because I’d like to think I’m a good person, and I didn’t want to hurt people. I didn’t want to devastate her like I did. I didn’t want to hurt her family. I didn’t want them to waste their money. It was funny because my aunt, who I didn’t listen to very much, aunt Karen. Before that, she said the most brilliant thing to me. She said, “If you’re feeling hesitation, give it a year because you’re all the same in college. Once you’ve been out for a year, you’ll find out who you are, and then if it still makes sense, great.”
Your life is made up of the decisions you make. Read that again, if you’re not already totally on that page. Your life is about the decisions you make. Education is wildly important. Doing the right thing, and being a good person, important. Being trained, but at the end of the day, the most important thing is every decision you choose because those little decisions, the compound effect of those, you’re going to look back when you’re 57 or if you’re 57 now when you’re 70 and you’re going to realize how that map all those exits you took and all those things places you went were all because of each little decision.
I met the woman of my dreams, Nadia, my current wife for almost 30 years. She is the woman of my dreams. I can’t imagine living without her. If I hadn’t dared to make that decision and call that off, I would have had a very different life in so many ways. That was a huge tipping point lesson. It was funny too because you also have to know who you are.
I had this French friend, Patrick. If you’re tuning in to this, Patrick, I still love you. Mon ami. I had my restaurants back then in San Francisco. I just met Nadia and I said, “My god. I found the woman of my dreams. This is my soul mate. This is the one for me.” We are like one and we are, 30 years later. He was listening and with this great French accent, he said, “Okay. I just need a companion. I need somebody to give me kids and that’ll be okay to be around.”
There’s a different version of love, but I respected that totally because you have to know who you are and what you’re looking for in life being someone of passion, romance, and true love, I would have always regretted being with somebody who wasn’t a fit. I had the courage to realize that she wasn’t a fit and that was important.
Speaking of Nadia, I was walking down Chestnut Street in San Francisco as you may have heard in past episodes, and one decision to have the courage, maybe it was the stupidity, or the naivete, who cares, to stop and say hi to this stunning woman with these big green eyes, jet black hair, and these high cheekbones, and this gorgeous woman.
The Courage To Change Life’s Path
I had to say hello. There was something about her. It wasn’t the looks, but there was an energy. If I hadn’t stopped and had the courage to make that one hello, what would my life be like now? As much as I believe in all these things, I think there are many versions of a great life. If something happens to me tomorrow, I hope and I know that Nadia will go off and have another amazing relationship.
There’s not one choice in this world. There’s not one path and that’s the thing I think is beautiful as well. You can make wrong choices. You can get off track, but guess what? Stick with it, you’ll get back on track. As Winston Churchill said, “When you’re going through hell, keep going.” That’s the key. Get to the other side of it. With that said, each of these decisions has made my life rich and beautiful.
That’s why I think about them and it matters to me. Opening the Sweet Heat, I was talking to a friend’s son and he said, “I want to be an entrepreneur. I’m 23. I graduated. I don’t want to go work for anybody.” I said, “You’ve talked to the best person and the worst person because I agree with you. I got out of culinary school after getting my BA in Hotel and Restaurant Management and I didn’t want to go work for a bunch of restaurants.”
I wanted to open my own and that’s what I did at 24 years old. You have to know who you are and decide if you’re going to have the courage to do that and I knew I had to do it. That’s another major decision that was a huge tipping point in my life. Everything is about what happens, which oftentimes you have no control over unless you put yourself in certain situations, then those things are more likely to happen.
It’s how you react to it. What do you choose to do? It’s the lesson you get from it. That’s the thing. Those are the three parts. Like life happens. I can react. What’s that reaction? In that reaction are the choices you’re making. I was talking to another newer friend, this woman who I love, she and her husband. She said something powerful. She said that she wasn’t able to have children. They were trying to have children and they couldn’t.
It’s not the failures, but how you react to them. Success is built on learning and choosing the right response. Share on XThey tried different things. She said something powerful, it almost made me cry. Nadia said, “What about adoption?” Now, she’s in her mid-40s. If you’re tuning in, forgive me if I’m misstating exactly what you said. She said, “If I hadn’t gotten stuck in my victim place, my sadness, or my misery of not being able to have a child, if I would have pivoted quicker and gone straight to adoption, maybe right now I’d have a kid and that would be good.”
You could also argue that she’s exactly where she’s meant to be because they’re a lovely couple, they have a great life, and they’re loving it. You have a chance in those moments to say, “Am I going to pivot out of this? Am I going to make a choice that takes me to a better place? Am I going to make a choice that keeps me in a worse place?” Those are all up to you.
Opening the restaurant was one of the most pivotal moments of my life. I even tattooed 1993 on my arm because it was the year that the Sweet Heat opened. It was the year when I met Nadia, my wife. Shortly after that, we got pregnant with Isabella. It was an epic year and then, ironically, the next tipping point moment was deciding to sell the Sweet Heats.
We had three restaurants. We were in Paris for two months enjoying our daughter, Isabella, a one-year-old, and having a great adventure, I came back and somebody said, “I can’t believe these things ran without you for all this time. This is a great concept. I want to buy it.” It was interesting because shortly before that, I had been in Belize scuba diving. That’s a whole other story, by the way. The blue hole in Belize, Ambergris Caye, a 150 feet deep. Deeper than we should be going with no gas, with regular air. Incredible experience.
I was sitting on the beach by myself after an incredible dive and I said, “What’s next for me? What is what is the next chapter going to be?” It’s important to take these moments with yourself, be with yourself, and say, “That’s great that everything is running, I’m making money, I’m doing it, and I love it, but is it what I should still be doing?”
All of my best decisions came from taking these moments with myself to think, “Am I where I want to be?” “Is this what I’m supposed to be doing?” “Is this what I want to be doing?” I had been on the beach and I had said, “I think the Sweet Heats chapter is over. It wasn’t for an obvious reason. The restaurants were doing well. I was enjoying it but I felt like there was something more for me and then sure enough, not very long later, we went on that Paris trip we got back, this guy wanted to buy them, and we sold them.
After being part of Pasta Pomodoro, partner there with my awesome friend, Adriano. Another tipping point decision. I’m a restauranteur. I’m a chef. That’s what I do. As Eckhart Tolle always says, “Don’t say I am a pharmacist. I am a restaurateur. I am a whatever.” That’s not who you are. You are a human being. That’s what you do. It’s very dangerous to define yourself by what you do because you may then be building your prison and realize that you didn’t want to serve that time.
I always had these moments alone and I said, “I love Adriano. I love this concept, but it’s time for me to move on and do something different.” It made sense because the company was going in a direction where I didn’t even think I was qualified to be that guy to open a restaurant a week with all this investment we had. We blindly moved down to LA. Nadia’s mom was here. We said, “What’s next?” Another tipping point moment was to start real estate. It was something that I said, “I get to run around, which I love to do. I can’t sit at a desk. I don’t want to work for anybody.” I never have, so I get to be my boss.
Making that decision to get into real estate was incredible. We had the most amazing run until I went on Food Network and had my cooking show, another tipping point moment. Each of these moments was defined by being honest with myself because I always say, “I sleep like a baby.” When I lay down at night, I put my head on that pillow and I am out cold with no care in the world because I put all of myself out there every day doing whatever it is I’m doing. I don’t have any would’ve, should’ve, or could’ve. I’ve always said that if I need to be able to die today, tomorrow, any day, and my last thought or my last words are, “Thank you. I did it. I’m grateful.”
Facing Failure With Resilience
That to me is the litmus test for a great life. Not, “I’m doing this and I hate it and it’s miserable and my family’s suffering, but in ten years when I sell, I’ll be rich,” or whatever it might be. It’s crucial to love the journey and not be afraid to pivot because there’s way more pain in wondering what would’ve happened than in failing.
Love the journey, not just the destination. There’s more pain in wondering what could’ve been than in trying and failing. Share on XThat’s what I always say, “You need to decide which is the more painful.” Is losing that money in the investment more painful than not going for it? If it is, then don’t do it. If changing careers and the thought that that new thing won’t work out is more painful than the pain of staying in what you’re doing, then, you have to stay in what you’re doing.
I think that’s a big part of it. It’s funny too because after the Food Network, all of a sudden, it seemed like I wasn’t the thing that was desired. My agent said, “They gave that show to a comedian.” and I said, “Okay.” Maybe the business is changing. Maybe I missed my window to be that celebrity chef. Sometimes the universe serves you well because maybe the story I’m telling is positive.
As I always say, “If you got to tell stories, tell good ones.” Maybe it was meant to be because I adore my wife. We spent a ton of time together. She could probably use a little more time without me but we’ve talked about that in past episodes. If I had become the next Bobby Flay, and traveled 300 days a year or whatever it took to be filming and doing these shows, maybe I wouldn’t have the relationship I have with my kids and my wife that I have now.
There’s always something to think about what’s behind what you deem a failure. Maybe it’s meant to be. I then made the next big tipping point move. Open a restaurant. My show is canceled. I don’t want to go back to real estate because I love this food thing and it was my past. It was a full circle. I opened this restaurant and we lost so much money but at least I wasn’t making any.
It was like the double whammy. A year and a half later, we sold it. The irony was I look back and it was one of the greatest joys of my life because I loved the journey and I went for it. I needed to purge that desire to get back in the restaurant business. If I hadn’t done that, I’d be wondering. If I went back to real estate, did I give up on this food dream? Did I quit?
I got it out of my system and I enjoyed it immensely, creating the specials every day, cooking, training the staff, and building this culture of amazing people. I have no regrets. It was beautiful. My wife and I got through it. I can’t wait to have my wife for one of these interviews or conversations because you’re going to see where the real power is. I always talk about her with that. I will never forget. She was always the worrier, but she always backed me up.
I’m very lucky to have that. Finally, the time when she had a right to worry when the restaurant was tanking and we were losing our butts, she had every right to say to me, “We’re going to go broke. You’re killing us.” I was waiting for it and I felt like I deserved it. It’s okay. Instead, what did she do? “We got this. We’ll get through this.” She started going back to real estate with a friend of hers. She saved us.
When I finally sold the restaurant and got back into real estate, another pivotal move. I could have said, “I’m not quitting on this restaurant. I’m going to start putting up happy hour banners.” All the things that you do when it’s not going to work out. When the writing is on the wall, read it. Don’t ignore it and create your writing that is not probably based on reality.
Expect the best, react well to the worst. We can’t control everything, but we can control how we respond. Share on XExpecting The Best, Reacting To The Worst
I was able to make a great decision and sell it. I got back into real estate and that was a little more than ten years ago now. We’ve thrived in real estate again. I love my clients. I wake up every day loving my life. Having our children, tipping point moments, and all these things I look back on. I’m like, “Wow.” The underlying theme is, “Expect the best, react well to the worst.”
We can’t guarantee what’s going to happen, but we can guarantee that we react well and make the best decisions moving forward. That’s it for this episode. I hope that you have some killer tipping points, and pivotal big decision moments and that you can make good choices and keep thriving. Thanks so much.