Navigating the modern entertainment world requires a bulletproof Creator Mindset and relentless authenticity. Host Jeffrey Saad sits down with comedian and digital powerhouse Tucker Reynolds to explore the real business behind viral comedy. They unpack the internal struggles of audience expectations, battling people pleasing tendencies, and learning to tune out toxic feedback loops. Tucker shares how shifting from audition rooms to online sketches taught him to focus entirely on what he can control. You’ll discover how daily mental health tools, intentional reduction, and pure optimism can protect your creative energy in a chaotic digital world. It’s a candid look at turning silly ideas into serious entrepreneurial success without losing your mind.
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Tucker Reynolds, The Guy That Makes Us Laugh Out Loud. His Powerful View On His Life And Business Is No Joke.
I am excited to be here with you, Tucker Reynolds. Genius. You are the content creator extraordinaire. You’re what, 26 years old?
I’m in my 30s, except we’re all the same age as we were at the pandemic, I’m sure.
Was this your first career, or did you have a job before you started this?
Now that it’s 2026, the pandemic was years ago.
That’s where it began.
I, right out of college, started doing some background acting or figuring out. I worked at SAG-AFTRA. I was doing some classes at UCB in improv theater and comedy theater. I was doing Postmates and stuff.
Your goal, was it to be an actor, comedian, or all of it? You finish school, and you’re like, “I want to be a,” or did you even have a thing?
I wanted to do acting deep down and then got, big time, distracted by social media, as you know from overhearing me in the backyard.
That is the funniest story. It was 2020. It was COVID. I will never forget. We’re out on our deck here, which we live on, as you probably know. I always feel like, “I hope we’re not disturbing Tracy.” I love your mom. I’m so blessed to have the best neighbor on earth. Tracy is amazing. I’ll never forget. All of a sudden, we hear some mango-flavored drink or something.
You’re like, “Mango.” We were like, “I wonder if her son has something wrong. He’s crazy,” because we had no context. We didn’t know anything. The way the decks go, all we could see was your hair and your motions. We were like, “What is going on?” That’s before we barely knew Tracy, and we didn’t know you at all. Talk about that because that was funny.
Pivoting Into Online Comedy
That was the first time I was paid for social media.
I was there in the beginning.
I know. That is honestly beautiful.
I was part of it.
I didn’t know you were specifically overhearing that. It was from Arizona Iced Tea.
That’s what it was.
I was stacking drinks. Pretty much, the camera’s rolling and I’m blabbing. Any time I push Stop Recording, I’m like, “I hope Jeff and Nadia didn’t hear me.”
It was great. I’ll let you finish the question I asked. You wanted to be an actor. Was it more acting or comedy? What was your goal when you started getting distracted by social media?
Definitely comedy. I don’t think I was ever going for that Oscar or whatever. I ultimately realized, “I want to have fun. I want to make people happy and make people laugh.” Comedy feels like the best route for that.
You do it so freaking well.
Thank you.
The world needs that more than ever. I am so proud of my algorithm because I get nothing but funny. I’m so glad because that’s what I want to do. Before you started the TikTok stuff, did you have stage time? Were you doing comedy and performing?
I was getting started. The day of the technical, “Now we’re quarantining,” was my audition to get on Teams at UCB at the theater. Bigger things were happening, but in my mind, at the time, I was like, “That dream’s done. I’m not getting on an improv team at UCB.”
Talk more about UCB for anybody who might not know. What is that all about?
It was started by Amy Poehler. It’s an improv theater in Los Angeles and New York. A lot of people go through it to hone their comedy skills. They do improv sketches. It’s a bunch of adults playing.
It’s like a Second City kind of vibe.
Second City and Groundlings. They’re all the same thing. It’s where I met so many friends and realized, “This can be a career for real.”
Did you get to perform before COVID?
I definitely got to perform. It was a lot of finding out who your friends are and your indie team, getting on stage, and trying things out. It wasn’t until social media, the pandemic, and the step back from all of that that made me find out about myself and my own comedic style. It made it less precious. Before, I was like, “I need to get on a team. I need to do this.” Having that step back and being like, “There are bigger things happening in the world,” made me put things into perspective.
My wife’s been through a lot. She’s like, “I wish that I could pull that one thing out.” I’m like, “No, because that’s part of the journey. I love who you are.” How cool is it that what you thought was the end of what you were starting turned out to be the thing that made you great?
It’s nuts. I have not had a job other than social media since that time. I’m not driving for Postmates anymore.
Isn’t that cool?
It’s wild.
Do you miss Postmates?
I do. I miss double parking in Koreatown and going up to the twelfth floor to drop off some burgers.
I can picture you being like, “Here’s your food. That’s the best,” like going into some improv routine.
It was nuts. Social media is crazy. I will complain about it all the time, but I take that step back and realize that this being a career and paying my bills, I’m thankful.
Talk about it as a career. That’s what I have enjoyed about you. You’re good at your craft, but you seem to approach it like, “This is a serious career. This is what I’m doing.” Maybe I’m ignorant, but a lot of people out there, I don’t think, realize how strategic and what a business it is.
Treating Content Like A Serious Business
It is a business, and you are the business owner. That can be tough sometimes. In school, I’m so like, “I want to impress my teacher. I want to get an A for my parents,” but this is up to me. I was tuning in to this show and reading you talk about real estate. That check will come, and then it’s the in-between. Maybe you’re not making any deals. It’s the same there for social media, where I’ll have a couple of brand deals here or there, but then the in-between is where I have to be churning out content.
How have you managed that? What’s been the hardest thing for you? That’s ultimately a version of the circle of control. You control what you put out, but you don’t always get to control exactly what deals come. How have you learned? What’s the worst version of that, and how have you managed it? What’s left for you to do mentally?
Letting Go Of Algorithmic Validation
The lack of control is wild because of algorithm stuff. You don’t have any say in what pops off. I’ll make the funniest video to me, and no one cares about it. Some of my most viral videos are something that I was in my head about and thought, “I shouldn’t post this.” Now, it’s my most viewed video.
How awesome. One of my premises in The Reduction is don’t overthink and storytell. Good for you that you posted it anyway because I listen to my son talk about that a lot. It’s got to be so hard to be like, “Is this going to be a hit? Should I not post it?”
It is wild. Sometimes, things are hits that you realize, “Other people want this, but maybe that’s not bringing me the most joy.” You have to pick and choose the content you’re making. Also, you get so much feedback from the actual apps. It is so weird to see in a day, like, “That didn’t do as well as I thought.”
That’s an interesting point, though. Every business has an online presence, but nothing is more direct than social. I didn’t even think about that. It’s an interesting point that you get almost instant feedback. Have you found that that feedback is trustworthy? Do you pivot and then go, “Maybe I shouldn’t have.”
I almost hate that feedback because of that lack of control. I’m like, “There’s not much I can do about that.” Rather than being discouraged by all of it, I have been like, “Let’s move on.”
What do you mean by discouraged by it? Is it haters or comments that you were different than you hoped it would land? What do you mean by that?
The app is telling you, “This video is performing lower than your usual ones. Your comment rate is this much lower.” Rather than digging into all of that, which, honestly, a good business person maybe would do to pivot their content, I find specifically for content that I have to be having fun for it to read through the camera.
You’re amazing.
I have to let that stuff go and be like, “The career involves ups and downs. Higher hit rates, less retention, more retention, sometimes a brand deal, and sometimes not.” I’m realizing I’m locked in. This is the career, so I’ve got to let everything else go.
Good for you, though. That’s my life’s work. The fact that you can do that at 30 years old in such a volatile, emotionally connected business is amazing. What I’m hearing you say is, “I got to be me, and whatever that equals is fine.”
Otherwise, I am going to internalize everything. I’m getting into fights in the pandemic with my mom over a TikTok video where I’m in a wig. We can’t be doing that. It has to be fun.
I go from hearing a crazy guy on the deck to having the pleasure of getting to know you. We did a transaction together. It was wild for me how different you are from the characters.
Thank you.
That shows you what a brilliant actor you are. It’s no different than a movie. Somebody’s not a murderer in real life. That’s in the role they’re playing. On social, I feel like it’s more often who they are. Sometimes, it looks fake. You are so brilliant. When I met you, I expected you to be a little bit off the hook. You were the most calm and reasonable through the whole transaction.
We are recording. I’m going to send that to all my improv coaches who are like, “You have to be more grounded.”
I was waiting for some blow-ups or some entertainment. You were a nice guy, focused on the transaction and what needed to be done. Do you think that’s not true? How do you manage those personalities?
Thank you so much, first of all. Honestly, the longer I’ve been doing social media and, in general, comedy and entertainment stuff, I feel like it has pushed me inward, almost to the point where I do these big, wacky characters where I’m blabbing that I need that off time of being myself instead of a character. I am a little crazier than you have seen, perhaps.
I got the adult version because I’m friends with your mom.
I’m like, “We’re doing a deal. We have to lock in.”
I love that you say that. Has that been challenging, or is it for people in your world to think that you’re expected to perform? Every time you walk into a party or a meeting or with friends, is there that pressure that you’re expected to be that guy versus this guy?
Breaking Free From People Pleasing
There is. There’s a lot that goes on in therapy. Honestly, this show is therapy as well. I’m a deep people pleaser to my core. I want to be that for people, but I’m trying to be better about being like, “It’s okay. I don’t have to be super bubbly. That doesn’t mean that people are going to hate me right off the bat.”
Good for you. I always had a lot of empathy for Will Smith. He said in his book, “If people aren’t clapping, I’m failing.” He couldn’t go through life without having the definition of applause, or he’s failing. I love that you said, “I don’t have to please everybody everywhere.” How have you managed that? What does that look like for people that want to get there?
Honestly, improv has helped so much for me, even in my daily life. You are locked in a scene with your scene partner on a stage in front of an audience. Sometimes, you will be like, “I don’t know what I’m doing.” Maybe you’ll say something and get that live reaction from the audience that is not what you thought, and you’re like, “I got the rest of the show to do.” That has been helpful in making me more secure with myself and being like, “They didn’t like that one. We’re going to have to keep going.”
That’s the thing. Improv is the highest form of the art. No script, no planning, no nothing. You go.
I find it honestly more comforting than stand up, which, to me, is scary in the sole fact that I can be like, “I made it up. I didn’t think it was funny either. I just said it. I don’t know.”
That’s an interesting point. The hardest thing is the easiest thing because you have an excuse or way out.
You have to stand by the things that you said. You can’t let the audience reaction affect you. I’m trying to take those principles into my daily life of being like, “I’ll say what I say. If people have a problem with that, they will come to me, but I can’t be worrying about it up here.”
Good for you.
You cannot say good for me because I am not doing it yet. I’m talking about doing it.
That’s okay. That’s where it starts.
Thank you.
For 1/3 of my life, I was so screwed up. The 2/3, I knew, but I didn’t know what to do about it. Now, I’m in a good place doing it, but it’s a process.
I feel like I’m between those thirds where we’re talking about doing it.
If you can be between those thirds at 30, you’re going to have a beautiful life.
Thank you.
If you had to pick one, do you consider yourself a writer, an actor, or a comedian?
I’m going to stand ten toes down and say comedian. Throughout the pandemic, even when I was doing acting stuff, I would never say, “I am an actor.” I would say, “I’m doing acting.”
I love that.
It’s because I felt like I didn’t earn the title or whatever.
That’s interesting. It was for that reason.
I know, so it’s not a good reason. I’ve been doing that with comedy stuff. I’ve been doing that with social media. Now, I’m like, “This is the career. I’m making money from being stupid and silly online. That’s comedy.”
That’s a great insight. It’s an Eckhart Tolle thing. We are human beings. What we do is separate. I act, but I’m not an actor. I’m a human being. Your angle on it is enlightening to me. You were like, “I’m not willing to say I’m an actor because I don’t feel fully worthy yet.”
I almost felt like I didn’t earn it. For real estate, you get a license. That’s a little simpler.
Except the license doesn’t mean anything.
When do you feel like you have made it in real estate or whatever? Talk about moving the goalposts. There’s always something more to do. I’m trying to be like, “I am a comedian. I’m going to say that now.”
Building an audience online means you stop waiting for permission and start creating your own opportunities on your own terms. Share on XGood for you. I love it. There we go. We did it.
Thank you.
That’s an interesting point, too. Moving the goalpost is more. How do you balance for yourself that concept of like, “Three million followers isn’t enough. Now, I have to be at five million.” How do you manage that, especially on social media? It’s so obvious. There are likes, clicks, and followers. How do you get peaceful with whatever the number is?
It’s wild. There is always more. It doesn’t matter if you have 1 follower or 10 million. There’s always more people. Something that honestly helped is hearing about Scarlett Johansson thinking she’s never going to work again in between roles. It’s like, “One of the most A-list actors is scared about their next role.” Even friends who are maybe sad they didn’t book something, but you look at them and think, “You were on a TV show.” That realization that no one is happy in the current state and knowing that we got to change that makes me be like, “It doesn’t matter how many followers I have. It is time to enjoy that moment.
Also, it is where you are at with that. It is where you are on that spectrum of, “I don’t even need to look because I’m doing what I’m doing, and I’m being me. I’m happy?” Versus, “I’m in trouble. I’m not where I need to be.”
Six years in, I have finally been like I am happy with where I am now. The growth for me will come in other places, I hope. I almost feel like I have had a bundle of fun with social media, and I hope that that will always be my day job, but the growth will now come from me doing acting and saying, “I’m an actor now,” or fulfilling other parts of my life. That may be exploring a different part of the world or growing elsewhere other than here. Maybe this is honestly the ADHD for me where I can’t focus on one thing.
It’s a talent.
Thank you.
I don’t have that, which I know of, but I think that’s a gift because it allows you to pivot to what your brain wants you to be doing instead of trying to be in a box of what you’re supposed to do. It’s almost like a forced pivot. If it feels good, you keep doing it, right?
I’m in a healthy relationship with the followers. Honestly, it has never felt real, though, because it all feels made up to me. I have 3.9 million followers on TikTok. I’m like, “What does that even mean?”
It’s incredible. I’ll tell you what it means. You’re amazing.
Thank you.
When you’re doing these posts, does it take ten hours of preparation, or is it like, “I had a coffee, and I thought of something, so I’m going to turn the camera on?”
Unfortunately, it is that for me. I have friends who are like, “I write on a Monday. I film on a Tuesday, and I edit on a Wednesday.”
You’re like, “That is exhausting.”
I’ll be staring all day at a blank sheet of paper, and then in a span of fifteen minutes, I will be like, “This is what I’ll do.” I’ll go film it, and then I’ll post it an hour later.
It’s not because I love you, but I think that’s brilliant because that’s authentic.
Thank you.
I have so much respect for writers. I watch this episodic stuff, and I’m like, “How do they keep this going? It’s brilliant.” I also think it is the most sincere, authentic thing to do it your way because it’s like, “It’s in my head. I did it. That’s real.” You didn’t edit or make sure the world was going to love it first and run it past a million people. Is that how it usually goes for you?
Thank you, first of all, but yes. I look at other people, and I’m like, “This is how they’re doing it. Surely, that’s how I have to do it.” It is freeing when you’re like, “Let’s see if my way works.” Sometimes, it does. Sometimes, it doesn’t. In order for it to be fun and for me to do this for the next decades of my life, I’m like, “I have to at least like what I’m doing, so I have to find what works for me.”
That’s brilliant. When I look at your stuff, it feels like it comes from a great comedian. You get inspiration and laughter from daily life stuff. I love the one with when somebody makes it about them. That is hilarious. Even your facial expressions. Everything is priceless. It’s so real-life. Is that the inspiration? Where does it come from?
Definitely real-life. Some of my videos literally come from like, “This got a bunch of likes last week. I will do it again because that’s what people want.” Where I have the most fun and try new things is daily life, like seeing a friend scream at another car in traffic and then sitting on the idea so they don’t know it’s directly about them.
I was going to say that. I’ve even had that on the show. I never want to make them feel bad, so I’ll say, “I have this friend with a son.” I’ve literally had people go, “Was that about me?” Even if it was, I’m like, “No,” or I’ll say, “Do you feel like it was you?”
It’s like, “Why’d you think that was about yourself?”
Did you have that happen?
I have had that happen with a couple of friends. Sometimes, they’re like, “Was that about me?” As a joke, and I’m like, “Yes, it was.” Sometimes, it’s more obvious when the video is literally called My Mom Trying to Do FaceTime. She goes, “I have a hunch this one’s about me.”
That’s funny. That’s a skill by itself that you know how to manage who can handle it.
Thank you. That’s a big comedy thing, too. We simply can’t be punching down. You have to be punching up or doing it out of love. There is so much hate in the world. Comedy can quickly veer into that hate. It’s so silly because with improv stuff, too, you’re making things up at the moment. A lot of times, I’m like, “Did I say something bad?” If I am leading from a good place and punching up or punching a friend, we’re going to be okay.
The world needs you guys more than ever. I love it.
Thank you.
To be able to say what we’re all thinking or wish we could say. Have I missed it? Do you do much political stuff?
Have you done a trial reel yet?
No.
This is on Instagram specifically. There’s always some new feature that I’m like, “Sure, I’ll try this.” It’s something you can post that is not shown to your followers.
It’s a test. That’s interesting.
You can then approve it for all your followers. I tried it.
That is the ultimate overthinker’s technique.
It gives you a way to try new things without being like, “My friends are going to see me do this.” I posted something that was extremely political. I don’t know how deep we’re getting in on this show, but I saw stuff about public execution being livestreamed.
I try to ignore all news, and I do a good job of it. I tell people, “Stop looking at news because, first of all, it has never made your life better. Second of all, even when I don’t do it, I can’t help but see it somewhere.” When I saw that, I was mortified.
I was like, “What the heck?”
When do the surprises end? You did something on that?
That inspired me. I was like, “I’m going to make a day in the life video.” The point is I used the trial reel thing. I have been getting some feedback on the trial reel. I haven’t done too much political stuff in the past content-wise, but in all my stories and stuff, we simply have to be going and voting. It’s specifically because I’ve also had my manager in the past be like, “You lost this brand deal because they saw some stuff.” It is a fine line, but honestly, I’m going to be releasing that trial reel because why not?
Be real. That’s the thing. My daughter makes fun of me every time I’m doing something on social media. She’s like, “Dad, this is so painful to watch,” because I’m the typical adult idiot. What’s interesting to me is that the trial reel, if it’s not going to your followers, then how do you know it’s even an algorithm that matches, or do they do that, I suppose?
That is the danger of it, or starting on a new platform. I started doing YouTube shorts because I’m like, “Why not?”
That’s where you’re meant to be. Isn’t that the number one in entertainment streaming?
Yeah. Who knew? Until you start building that following, they will put that on anyone’s page, so you will get the worst of people in your comments. Doing the trial reel is a risk, but people are resonating with politics.
It’s a fine line. I always struggle with that. We need to be authentic, and there’s nothing wrong with speaking your mind, but you also then have to be like, “With the classic circle of control stuff, whatever comes of it, comes of it.” That’s going to be what it is. I’ve always loved the quote, “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please all the people all the time.” That formula doesn’t work. At least you’re leaning into, “That’s authentically me, and I believe it. I’m going to get more of those people. If I lose some of the other ones, oh well.”
It is much easier said than done. I’m trying to speak it into existence because the people pleaser runs deep.
I have the same thing. I hate to quote Sylvester Stallone. I respect him so much, but I don’t love those political views. I listened to a podcast with him, and he said a great thing. He was like, “If you got a scar, you can go to the doctor. They can laser it off.” He goes, “Can you do the one on my heart?” I thought that was a great comment because we all have our baggage. It’s a matter of whether you put wheels on it or not. I’m a people pleaser, too, and I know it’s because of my childhood and my mother. It’s interesting that you see it because that can run our lives if we’re not careful.
I have anxiety. I have OCD. I have these things that can make me harp on something. Truly, the entire reduction method is helpful. That’s why I’m like, “I could cancel therapy this week.” I have some things working against me that make it so it’s harder to drop things, move on, not live in the past, or obsess over stuff. Releasing that can help you move on and live in the moment.
Bravo. That’s a great way to look at it. I have a lot of respect for you because for you, it is a business decision, too. That’s half the reason we have these problems, because people go online ranting at no cost. For you, it’s your business. Somebody else gets hated. Great, they’re hated on social media, but they still show up at their office and do their job. For you, that is also your job.
It’s funny. My mom will often be like, “Open the comments because people are being nice.” The people pleaser in me sometimes assumes the worst in people, like, “That was so awkward. They literally hate me now,” but I’m not thinking that about them. A lot of times, I’m not opening the comments because I’m scared of one bad thing, but people are being quite kind.
I bet you anything that when somebody makes a bad comment, you’re going to get a million people attacking that because they’re defending you. I posted this reel from my book launch. I like clothes. Whatever. That’s what I do. I had this outfit on, and this guy commented, “These typical old rich guys think they need to wear something.” It was a weird comment. I replied back. I said, “Old, yes. Rich, no.” I’m not going there. I feel bad for that person. That’s where I’ve learned to empathize. Anybody who’s willing to attack a stranger or find the only thing they can make negative in a post of hilarity or a value, I feel sorry for them.
It is ultimately very sad. The comedian in me is like, “I got quite a good comeback right now. I want to post it,” and then you go to the profile and you’re like, “That’s a fifteen-year-old child.”
The classic in mom’s basement with nine followers.
That’s sad.
It’s amazing how much you have to manage. What else have you learned about running it as a business, and how are you evolving with that?
Speaking of the people pleaser in me, it is knowing when you have to speak up, even if it’s for brand stuff. I’m in contractual obligations. I have a manager I’m dealing with. We’re dealing with the actual brand and then also the company in between. Sometimes, things happen where I do have to speak up. I have to be like, “The idea you want me to do, no one is going to care about. I think we should be doing this.” Knowing when to speak up and fight that people pleaser in me, I have learned a lot more. I’m doing it.
Good for you. That’s huge. I’ll never forget I had a Barilla pasta commercial back in my Food Network TV days. I showed up in the studio, and they put me in this sweater that is the worst color. It’s this wool crew neck that’s itching my neck, but it changes your whole vibe. That’s the irony. A great brand knows to let you be you. Have you ever experienced that where it affected your performance because you were trying to adapt to what they wanted?
Absolutely. That reads through the screen. You cannot be emanating joy and laughter if you are uncomfortable or if it’s not authentic to you. It’s knowing which battles to pick and when to speak up when I know, “I’m still being a people pleaser. I need to be speaking up.” That’s hard because it’s your business. If I’m going to keep this business going for years to come, I have to be a businessman.
For people tuning in, because you’re not alone in anything, how have you managed that people-pleaser thing? You’ve brought that up a few times. When you feel triggered, do you have a go-to method? How do you deal with that? Is it still the aftermath, like, “That’s what happened last week.”
You can't control the algorithm. Focus on creating what brings you joy and let the numbers sort themselves out. Share on XWe’re still figuring it out, but remembering that I have my people, and people can accept me for me. If there’s any pushback from them, God bless. They’re allowed to have that. We’re all going about our lives, doing our thing. There’s a push and a pull with people. It’s okay for people not like you.
That’s your trigger. You immediately go there like, “That’s okay. I can’t change it.”
I have to be like that.
Good for you.
I have to be like, “That happened. We’re going to move on.” I’m having these dialogues in my head all the time. In order for me to sleep at night, I have to be able to move on and take out the bad stuff. Reduction. Reduce. It is so silly to be talking about people-pleasing stuff when I’m actively doing it every day. It’s a work in progress.
That’s what I always believe. It’s not an excuse. I think it’s true. Whatever your challenges are, those add to what makes you great.
Thank you.
If you didn’t care about pleasing people, like me, then you wouldn’t be getting the same stuff out because you’d be like, “Screw them.” You’re not going to do the same content if you don’t care. It’s wild.
It’s not dwelling on the past or knowing that our trauma got us where we are. It is knowing that I wouldn’t want to change that part of me because maybe then I wouldn’t be sitting here talking to you.
That’s the real thing. That’s the most important message for everyone. If you’ve killed somebody, that’s probably not good. If you’re doing illegal things, that’s a separate conversation. Otherwise, I believe that we are a miracle as human beings. Whatever we’re doing, it’s all part of our DNA. We can always work to get better. I love the Japanese philosophy of Kaizen. One percent better every day. We have to embrace that those are all human things and it’s part of what makes us tick. You can’t fix everything.
We’re allowed to be upset, make mistakes, and all of that. I’m saying this to remind myself.
I always say, “Everything I do is mostly to help me, and then I hope it helps somebody else too. I need to keep reinforcing it because otherwise, I’m not reducing. I’m outside the circle. I’m storytelling.
I stopped myself in therapy as I’m talking through something because I was like, “I didn’t kill anyone. This is a non-issue.”
They will recover.
Everyone’s going to be okay.
This is an interesting topic for me if you’re comfortable. I always find therapy fascinating. I always say this, most importantly. If it’s working for you, keep doing it. I don’t care what it is or what anybody’s opinion is. Do what works. I always feel like the solution lies in today. The more I look back, I get a sore neck, and I’m not here at the moment. If I look too much into the future, I’m not here at the moment. Why do you do therapy? What’s your philosophy on that versus like, “Whatever it is, it is. I can’t fix it.” Are you trying to go back, fix it, and discover the problem so you can change everything? What is your version of therapy?
Managing OCD And Anxiety In Real Time
I was like, “We’re going to dig into my past. I’m going to be crying on the couch because I’ve learned the problem with me.” That’s what I thought it was going to be. Specifically, at least the reason I’m obsessed with my therapist is that we’re talking about the day-to-day. I’m in the moment. Specifically, she’s great with OCD stuff. We are talking about tools that I can use at the moment.
Maybe it’s more of my ignorant assessment that it usually has barriers. That’s great to hear. She’s in the moment. I love that. She is thought and action, like, “What are we doing today? How are we helping you with this today?”
That helps me move on to the next. Talk about 1% improvement. Next time, I know, “This OCD thought was not mine. It was just OCD.” It’s happening a little less next week.
I love that. Congratulations. For everybody doing therapy, I hope they’re doing it that way because that’s brilliant to me.
Thank you.
We all need that. It can be labeled as therapy, but to me, that’s more of coaching. You’ve got a coach. It’s not on the content. It’s on how to make you better for yourself so you do better content or more content.
People sometimes come in and out of therapy or whatever in their life. I’m using it to have those tools, but I’m going to have to say, “Bye, Esme,” at some point. Sorry.
She’ll be like, “You have more issues we haven’t gotten to yet. Trust me.”
She gives such good book recs, though.
Do you do a lot of reading?
I want to.
That was the best answer ever. Everybody’s always like, “Yeah,” and they drop some names of the most popular books. That was brilliant.
I am in my first successful book club, though. We are on month ten of doing it. I am reading more, thank God, but it’s so hard. There’s so much going on all the time. Are you a big reader?
My problem is I’ve always been a huge reader, but of self-help stuff.
That’s great.
It’s great, but a friend of mine has been referring me to books that are fiction. It is nice to escape. What I learned about it is it takes you on a little vacation. When you’re reading a fiction book, you’re walking through your day, and you’re like, “Something good’s happening in my life. The book, I want to get back to it.” I do think it’s a brilliant way. It takes your mind to new places.
One of the most successful guys I ever listened to at this mastermind thing we were doing was a huge part of Tony Robbins’ success and helping him with everything. Somebody asked him in the crowd, “What’s been your biggest key to success and how to position things?” He goes, “I read books on plumbing and earthquakes.” It was random stuff, but then it gets less random as it draws parallels. It’s cool because it makes a different part of your mind work. You start connecting dots that seem unrelated. I thought that was cool.
I love that. Also, for comedy stuff, I’m trying to comment on the way the world is or whatever. I love a little learning. I love a little of this and this, going back to the ADHD of it all. I genuinely feel like anytime I take in new information, that is stewing up in me and can be used at some point in time. We can draw back on my plumbing knowledge.
I love your comedic pantry. I love that idea. That’s perfect.
That’s what I feel like I get from reading when I do it.
The book I read is what happened.
I love Green Eggs and Ham. That is the best I can do.
That’s my problem. I can’t find enough pictures. I’m like, “Who’s doing all these words?”
You wrote a book, though.
We had an amazing girl helping us. For everyone who wants to write a book, ghostwriters and people who help are not a new concept. I struggled with it for a while because I’m like, “I have to be the one to write it.” My co-author, Steve Shull, had this girl, Madison Fitzpatrick, who is amazing, do his other books. What she did, which was so cool, is for a year and a half, every Thursday, we had a two-hour recorded call. She took what we said in the recordings and wordsmithed it pretty.
That rocks.
It was the most rewarding thing in the world because when I did the audiobook and read through it twenty times for corrections, I’m like, “It is me. That is my voice in every way.” It was a cool process. I’m sure AI helps with that. Not creating the content, but in translating the recordings to words. Whatever she does with her wand, she’s amazing.
I don’t consider myself extra smart or a writer, so to have that done is rewarding, and to leave something behind that makes a difference. To me, it’s always about the journey. I always say, “If you’re surfing the rainbow, your life is technicolor. If you’re only trying to get to the pot of gold, it’ll be a black-and-white loss.”
I have to be writing this down. That is beautiful.
If you’re only after the pot of gold, you miss the whole rainbow. You’re looking back, and you’re like, “Was I in a rainbow? I never even saw it.” What if you don’t get the pot of gold? I always jokingly say that one of my greatest memories is my biggest failure. I lost a fortune in my last restaurant, but I only smile when I think about it because I love the journey. Every day, making my specials and talking to the customers was great. It would have been nice to make some money, but it’s okay.
If you don’t get the pot of gold, then the whole thing is a waste because you didn’t want the journey. I have people in my life who have gotten the pot of gold. Guess what? They want a bigger pot of gold because it wasn’t about the journey. It was about the results. To each their own. I don’t judge. I always say, even when I’m talking about the book, “If you wake up loving your life, don’t read it. You don’t need me. Keep doing what you’re doing. This is only designed for people like, ‘I feel a little anxiety. I feel a little something is missing. How do I get to be able to wake up and say, ‘I love my life.’” That, to me, is the key. Loving the journey and the people in your journey is the best part.
Therapy isn't always about excavating the past. It's about building actionable tools to handle what's directly in front of you today. Share on XZooming out is so hard to do, I feel like, at the moment. Making a habit of zooming out, being like, “This is the rainbow. This is the journey. This is the career I signed up for, and I want to do. It’s always going to be up and down,” and accepting that and finding love in the journey in the rainbow is beautiful.
I love that you said that. You were like, “I’ve decided to do this. There will be ups and downs.” It’s incredible how many people fight reality. That is the reality. To fight it is crazy. I also appreciate what you said about the actor that’s so successful.
Scarlett Johansson.
You tell me. Let me ask you a question. Is it hard not to make it your identity? She’s been a wild success. We all love her. I can’t imagine the pressure. It’s not like you’re making a product. You’re the product, so how can you not take it personally? You’re nowhere near that because you’re on a rocket ship.
Thank you. It is so weird having a viral video, but then that being a bad thing to me because I’m like, “The next one has to get more likes and more views.” I’m putting that pressure on myself that no one else is putting on me. It can screw with the mind and suck the joy out of it. The video that got the most views ever for me.
Which one was that? This is so everyone goes on and watches it.
Truly, me burping while chugging a Sprite. Some of the dumbest things you can imagine. The next day, instead of riding the high, I’m like, “What am I going to do now?” How is that going to be fun if I have that attitude?
It’s the journey and the content. Plenty of actors have had awards, and then they have a flop. That’s okay. It’s all part of it. To even think you’re going to have awards is insane.
I love reading about an actor’s flop or seeing an artist that I love release an album that no one’s listening to. I hate that for them, but selfishly for me, I’m going, “This is a worldwide pop star who released an album that is not being listened to by many people, but do you know what? She’s still a rockstar. She’s still a superstar. She’s going to release an album that pops the heck off next time.” We are all human. We have our ups and downs.
Good for you. One of my favorite things to say when somebody says, “This isn’t happening,” is, “Why are you putting an expiration date on it?” That album that’s a flop could become something iconic. We all know those movies that become these cult followings that when they were released, they were flops. You never know. Right product, wrong time. All of a sudden, it finds its time.
All those painters that died not knowing their work is in the Louvre.
They have the worst journey because a lot of them didn’t make much of anything. We’re making something. That’s why I always tell people, “Re-read that book you read ten years ago because you won’t be the same person reading it.” We change. I love reading on my iPad because I make highlights. I flip through the highlights as a refresher because I don’t want to forget those great lessons I got. What’s amazing about that is that I have this collection of all these things and all these memories, but then I’ll go back, re-read some stuff, and highlight different things because that’s what has popped out. That’s the beauty of life. It’s ever-changing. You keep taking things in and keep adapting.
I was listening to you talk about the old you with your motorcycle. You were saying you were a little more punch-a-window kind of thing and how you don’t even recognize that person anymore.
I want to test this out on you and see how it works. I’ve done it a couple of times. It’s about the circle of control. What are you up to the rest of the day?
I’m playing pickleball with my friends.
Have you done it before?
I haven’t in so long, and I’ve been wanting to get into it. Do you play at all?
Our friends invited us to the Riviera Country Club because they’re members. It was hilarious. I didn’t think about it when I was getting dressed, but everyone was calling me John Travolta because I showed up at the pickleball court with black Chuck Taylor high tops with no socks and shorts. I looked so not an athlete. I looked like an idiot, but it was super fun. For me, when people ask, it was plenty of a workout. I was exhausted.
I got to be playing pickleball or tennis more because that is a disguised exercise to me where it’s like, “That’s more workout than I’m doing usually.”
Well said. That’s the thing. I got back from taking my son to a surf ranch. Anybody who knows surfing knows Kelly Slater, the famous surfer. He created this in the middle of the desert. It’s in Lemoore. It’s two and a half hours away. There’s a wave.
No way.
There’s this gigantic train that’s ripping along this body of water. It creates a synthetic wave. That’s the best wave you could ever ride. I was wiped out after two days of that. Point being, to agree with you, when you’re doing an activity, it’s so much better than the gym. You brought it up. We’ve talked about the circle of control, which is this tattoo that has been my gift. It was one that I did ages ago. It’s my reminder always. No matter what happens, is this in my circle of control or not? Not only is it in my control, like getting rid of the president, but am I willing to do it? It’s not, “Can I?” It’s, “Will I?” Quick quiz. Ready?
Err on the side of hope. If you expect the worst, you suffer twice. If you choose optimism, you only handle pain if it actually arrives. Share on XOkay.
Say in or out of your circle of control. You’ll have to pretend on this one. Your kids.
Out.
Your job description.
In.
Your partner’s choices.
Out.
You didn’t even pause on that one. The weather.
Out.
The number of hours in a day.
In.
You’re changing the calendar. I love that.
I think I misunderstood that one, but we’ll keep going. Out of my control.
What you say yes or no to.
In my control.
Illness.
Out.
What you do for a living.
In.
Your joy and happiness.
In.
We’re going to talk about that one first out of any of the other ones. I love that you said in. Before I say a word, tell me why your joy and happiness are in your control.
Reclaiming Your Circle Of Control
I have the ability to pinpoint what is not bringing me joy and happiness. Joy and happiness should be within my control.
We could have that in this episode and hit stop, and I’d be so happy. Do you think the majority of people agree with you?
I’m optimistic to my core. I genuinely was like, “I aced that quiz. I got everything right.” I would hope that people agree with me.
Think about this. You see so many people. They’re looking for happiness outside. If you ask the average person, “Are you totally happy every day?” They say no, and you say, “Why?” What do you think their answer will be?
Something that’s not in their control.
They’re talking about everything else. You’re amazing to have said that. I love that I asked that because, to me, that is the key. You get to choose. Here’s the most important part. Joy and happiness aren’t out there. They emanate through you into everything you do.
It’s resonating.
I’m so proud of you because the way you’re thinking is so beautiful. It’s going to help so many people. It will come through your work. You said it. Someone can say, “Change your job.” You say, “I have bills.” We all have bills. You say, “I have a family.” We all have people to take care of. You have to say, “If this isn’t working, how do I change it?”
You and I are entrepreneurs. We run our own business, so we can make those choices. Even people with a job, I always say, “Your job description says this, but it doesn’t mean it’s not changeable. Go to your boss and say, ‘Which of these two things do you want me to take off? I can’t get these other 8 ones done effectively if you’re giving me these 2 more.’” How many people do that? Instead, it’s like, “They’re expecting so much of me.” The irony is you end up not performing because you’re doing too much because you didn’t speak up.
That is real.
Do any of these other ones resonate with you? The reason I put the weather in there is for a joke, because isn’t it funny? Nobody ever goes, “I need to make it sunny,” and yet we do that with so much other stuff in life.
It’s interesting to see what I think is out of my control, but then I realize, “That is my control.”
Talk more about that because that’s gold. Anything you think off the top of your head?
For a job description. Immediately, I said, “That is in my control,” because I work for myself. Certain things that I think are out of my control are maybe who I’m around or something. Since we’re existing in the same community, I have to be around this person at all times, but no. That’s in my control. I don’t have to be associating with people that make me feel bad.
Bravo. I love to hear you say that. That’s so true. It sounds so cold, but part of the reduction is reducing people. I always want to help people. I’m not going to be like, “Give me or bring me joy or get out.” When you see somebody every single time that they don’t want help or they won’t take help and they bring you down, why would you have them in your circle? They need to be reduced. We all go through life. You can’t change everything that isn’t right for you, but you do have the ability to go, “I don’t want to be in that group. The advantage of that isn’t worth the people that are bringing me down.” Bravo for you.
It’s to everyone’s benefit. I’m sure it’s great for them as well. Sometimes, it doesn’t even have to be a big, whole thing where one person is so bad, and one person is good. Not everyone has to match. They’ve got their own groups, too.
Bravo. I’ll never forget. Back when I used to run 300 employees and all these restaurants, if you let somebody go, like a manager or whatever, everyone would come out of the woodwork. They’re like, “Thank God. It’s about time.” You’re creating these other reasons why they have to stay or something, and the whole world is applauding when they go. You’re like, “Okay.”
We had that for our improv team. You always start with an opening to generate ideas before going into the actual show. We had to change our opening because we were told to. After that, everyone was like, “Thank God. I hated that. I could never pull any ideas from it.” We weren’t talking to each other and saying our real thoughts.
That’s a good point. You’re both thinking the same thing, but you’re both doing it for the other person. The coolest thing I ever saw was my friend and his wife, who is older in life, where they were doing everything to have a baby. They spent hundreds of thousands of dollars, all this stuff. One day, he took a piece of paper, ripped it up, and gave her a piece, him a piece, and a pen. He goes, “Let’s write down ‘Have to have a child.’ ‘Would like to have a child,’ or, ‘I’m okay without it.’” They each wrote their answer down and flipped it over. They both had, “I’m okay without it.” They were doing all this stress, work, and money for the other one because at one point, they both said, “Let’s give this a try.”
That is beautiful, too, because they want to be there for the other person.
Bravo. Look at you. That’s a way to look at it. Double down. That’s what it felt like. They’re the happiest couple. They love their life. They got a couple of dogs. That’s a special point you brought up, which is how many times we do something we think is for the good of the other person and they don’t want it.
That’s the thing with people-pleasing, too, where I’m doing something because I’m trying to please people. I’m making more people angry than they have to be because I’m doing something that I think they want, or I’m saying yes to a billion things and then half-committing to all of them.
One of the greatest lessons on my own people-pleasing is when I had my fifteen minutes of fame on the Food Network, and I was on all these TV shows. I was on one of those daily news shows. Backstage, beforehand, the host said to me, “Can I tell you something?” I said, “Sure.” They said, “Can you stop being so grateful? You keep saying how grateful you are to the point that it seems like you don’t think you’re worth it.”
I was blown away. I still remember it. That was many years ago. That’s the thing. You can be so worried about other people or so grateful for every opportunity that you forget that you’ve earned it or that you’re worth it. It’s important to remember that. As people-pleasers, sometimes, the pleasing can devalue us. Do you resonate with that or not?
Absolutely. You’re scared to take up space, and then you realize your friends want you in that space. Friends want to be there for you. You want to be there for your friends. It’s accepting that other people want for me what I want for them as well.
One of my biggest things as a realtor, but also as a human, is I always say, “Whatever you’re thinking, turn it into a question.” With clients or something, I’ll have an agent tell me, “This and this.” I’ll be like, “Have you talked to your client about that?” They’re like, “No.” I’m like, “Turn it into an empathetic question because otherwise, we’re doing this storytelling.”
“You’ve got this whole dialogue of why this is going on. If you ask them the question, ‘It seems like you’re frustrated with me in this transaction. Is there something I can do differently?’ They’d be like, ‘I’m so sorry. I’m in the middle of the business thing that’s stressing me out.’” If you don’t ask it, it’s this festering thing.
During our transaction, you couldn’t have been more perfect. You’re incredible. I’m truly so thankful. I couldn’t have done it without you and Nadia. At the start of the process, I remember talking to my mom, being like, “I don’t want to mess up the relationship we have with our lovely neighbors. I’m scared I’m going to do something that is going to make them realize we suck or something.” Even throughout the process of being slow to respond to certain things, or being overwhelmed because it’s all new to me, I was scared about how that would affect our relationship. Nothing changed. If anything, it made things even better.
First of all, it means the world to me that you said that and cared that much. Here’s the irony. Your mom said, “You guys are too busy.” In my head, I was so honored that you and your mom would trust us with one of the most important transactions to date that you’re going to do. I want to help people that I believe in get to the next place. It’s never about the dollar signs. To me, that’s the pot. I’m in the rainbow. I was so psyched to help you and so honored. That’s a great example. We’re both thinking the opposite thing of what the other one thinks we’re thinking.
I know. I have to realize that my assumptions about people are not right sometimes. It’s an unfair assumption.
Ask the question. The real challenge should be how to ask it, but ask it. Do you know what I mean?
Totally.
I’ve learned so much. Whatever’s frustrating you, turn it into an empathetic question. I have this one client that didn’t seem to trust me. We had done multiple transactions, and I kept getting this weird energy. I don’t want to take up a bunch of time on this, but I finally called him out in an empathetic way, and he almost had tears in his eyes. He was like, “I’m so used to people liking me because they want to be in my circle.” He was a very wealthy and successful guy. It was a beautiful moment we had. Now, we’re literally “I love you” friends.
You had to have that conversation.
Most people will come home to their partner or their associates and friends and be like, “This guy’s a jerk.” One question brought a beautiful friend into my life. Ask the question. I could talk to you for days. In closing, is there anything that you want to share that you think has been a powerful lesson in your life or something you’re determined to work on? Is there anything that you believe in dearly that you’d want to share?
Leading With Relentless Optimism
Let’s go back to me saying I’m an optimistic person. Something I believe in deeply is that I want to lead with joy and fun, and I want to err on the side of optimism and hope. If I’m proven wrong, then I only have to deal with it once rather than fearing something bad is going to happen, and then something bad happens and I have to deal with it again.
I love that.
We have to be kinder and give people the benefit of the doubt. If you’re proven wrong, we’ll take that when it comes.
That is brilliant. That’s also such a great statement. I got chills because of how deep and beautiful that is. You’re a funny guy. You do comedy. You’re a deep, smart guy who’s thoughtful. If I could have scripted it, I would want that answer. That’s my biggest thing. People are always in that concept of, “I’m going to expect the worst, so I’m not disappointed.” What a way to live life.
I’m miserable 100% of the time.
You said it perfectly. “I don’t want to have to re-experience it.” I always say, too, that optimism is the most powerful thing we have. If you don’t start by believing it, then you can’t bring it to fruition. If you don’t believe in world peace, then there’s not even a chance. That’s an extreme example. It starts with a belief. Optimism is a powerful thing. What a great way to wrap it up.
Thank you so much for having me.
Thanks for being here. You’re amazing. This is going to be one of my favorites, for sure.
Thank you so much.
Cheers.
Important Links
- Tucker Reynolds on TikTok
- Tucker Reynolds on YouTube
- Tucker Reynolds on Instagram
- The Reduction
- SAG-AFTRA
- Postmates
- Green Eggs and Ham
About Tucker Reynolds
Tucker Reynolds is a Los Angeles-based comedian and content creator with over 5 million followers across social media platforms (@TuckerComedy). He performs improv and sketch comedy at the Upright Citizens Brigade as a member of their Harold Night and Maude Night house teams. When he’s not making up characters and skits, he’s probably desperately trying to facilitate a game night of some sorts.