Sobriety opens new clarity and creativity for French curator and designer Laurent Rebuffel, who joins the circle to reflect on how getting sober reshaped his life, work, and sense of purpose. From boxing and fine dining to crafting timeless furniture and co-hosting Clutter Bravado, Laurent’s story is one of reinvention — finding connection, balance, and beauty through community. In this intimate and often humorous exchange with a longtime friend, he shares how focusing on what’s within his control transformed not just his health, but his art, relationships, and everyday joy.
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French Curator Talks About Sobriety In The Circle With Laurent Rebuffel
The Boxer, The Entrepreneur, The Podcast Host: Laurent Rebuffel’s Journey
Laurent, I love doing these shows in general, but when it’s somebody like you, it’s extra fun because we’ve known each other for a million years. We’re old enough to say 30-plus years. I love telling everyone that I met with you, punching me in the face. This guy is a freaking badass boxer. That was many years ago. I know you’re still into it. Introduce yourself with what you do. You are an amazing entrepreneur. I met you, with your antique furniture dealership, back in San Francisco. You have your own amazing podcast. Talk about that for a minute. It is Clutter Bravado, with your amazing partner, Elyse. Give everybody a sense of who this amazing, debonair French man is.
I don’t know, but it has been a ride. I met you because we were both in the food industry, in restaurants. I met you at Sweet Heat many years ago. That was one life that I adored. I’m still passionate about food. I switched to antiques. That was my upbringing. We had an antique store in San Francisco and LA. We followed each other, which was very funny. You moved to LA. I moved to LA. You moved back to San Francisco. I was still in San Francisco. The antiques were fun. That was twenty years of my life. Gradually, we started making furniture with my business partner. The third stage is the furniture line.
He has this amazing apartment in Koreatown. He was there way before everyone else knew it was cool.
We used to invite people. They were like, “Past the library?” I’m like, “Yes, way past the library.”
That’s back in the San Francisco days. There is a life beyond the Marina. You can cross Lombard. It’s okay. Your place is truly a showpiece. It’s such a crazy world because, to me, the furniture you do and the way you curate the space with artists and sculptures is next level. When you’re there, you feel differently. Talk about how the environment that you’ve created affects your daily quality of life and the work you do. Be specific. You create masterpieces. Where can people check that?
Our motto, and I did that with Kimberly, was to create furniture that’s comfortable and that will last for a long time. Part of it is my upbringing in the antiques. I’ve been selling pieces that are 200 years old that need to be restored and reupholstered. I’m imagining our pieces the same way. In 100 years, someone will be like, “That thing is still sturdy enough. Let’s reupholster it.” That was a big motto.
I actually love that. I’ve never heard you say that. That’s brilliant. In 100 years, I want somebody to go, “This beauty needs to be refurnished because it’s timeless.”
Part of it is eco-conscious for sure. Even though to make it, we’re not green, I don’t want it to be thrown in the landfill. I’m hoping that whatever we make will be sold and resold eventually. The other part of it is, and I was thinking it, I do everything for people.
That’s that hospitality gene. We both have it.
I have to accept the fact that people are my motivator. Someone asked me why I’m doing all that stuff. I’m like, “I don’t know.” I get up in the morning and go. Thinking of the food and the hospitality, I loved having people in the restaurant. They were my guests. The furniture is the same thing. I provide furniture for people in the house. I care. There is an apartment where I built a community of designers. I’ve been around long enough now that I have a pretty big community. It’s because I love those people. I’ve known their kids. They come to dinner. That’s what I create.
The Art Of Hospitality: Creating Environments, Not Just Furniture
What is so brilliant, too, is that I love it. I’ll never forget. We’ve always known each other. I’ve always loved you, even though we don’t have a ton of time together because life is life. We’re busy, but you get invited to dinner at your place. It’s not what people expect. You walk in. First of all, you’re like, “Where have I been transformed to? Where’s that time machine elevator that I came out of?” You’re doing these perfectly coddled eggs with caviar and all these little handmade delicacies. Each bite is like, “Don’t talk to me for a minute. I’m enjoying this.” That’s what’s so special. I never felt like you were trying to sell anything. You create an environment where people go, “I want to replicate this.”
That’s what I imagine when we work on a project on a larger scale, doing a room or a house. It’s a lifestyle. Have people over. Enjoy your life. Have that quality of life. Turn on the lights at night. Just sit there and relax. Enjoy your life. That might be a little bit the European way.
It’s the right way.
We talked before the show about the difference in lifestyle in Europe. For me, it is important to sit down at home and have a good meal. It’s with people. I do fancy. Put a roast chicken in the oven and some fresh vegetables. We’re blessed here with the produce that we have in California. You can go get some nice, good potatoes, carrots, onions, and leeks for a roast chicken. Put some butter on it. Stuff it, and it’s a meal. It’s homemade.
This could easily be a food show, the way you and I love food. That’s why I love what you do, too. Even the day that you had me on Clutter Bravado, you had this gorgeous piece of trout, or what was it?
It was the salmon.
It was with gnocchi and blistered cherry tomatoes. It was simple and perfect. Ken used to say to me when I worked with him at The Grove, “Make me a perfectly juicy chicken,” like you said a minute ago, “then show me your fancy, but first, show me what a great chicken tastes like, cooked properly.”
I was invited to a French place to make an omelette because I make a killer omelette. It’s an omelette. Just perfect that.
No color, right?
No.
That almost got to be light and fluffy like the sun rising.
That’s if you’re a little passionate. Homemade is something that you made from your heart, from your kitchen, and serve to your friends. It changes everything. It changes relationships. I carry that throughout the food and throughout the furniture. Art is the same thing. I collect art. Most of the time, I know the artist because there’s a history. There is a passion. When I look at something, I know that person made it. They carved that piece of steel and cast it in bronze, or they painted that. It’s the people.
Homemade is made from the heart, from your own kitchen, and when you serve it to friends, it changes everything — even relationships. Share on XIt does make a difference, too. I always say I’m a sucker for the story. When they tell me this cologne smells like a ship where they transported ballet shoes in the hall across the Atlantic, I’m like, “I’m in.” The story or the person behind it matters.
It matters, especially right now with AI and all that, and the debates that we all have. It’s because people want to know who is behind it. I still believe that. That’s what matters to us humans. It’s the connection.
This stuff is going to be more valuable than ever when you don’t know what’s real anymore. It’s going to matter.
That’s what we do. From there, I started a podcast with Elyse Cizek. We have Clutter Bravado. Elyse came to me and said, “I want to start a podcast in design and art.” I’m like, “That’s a great idea.” “Would you?” I’m like, “Yes. If you want to use the apartment, that’s what it’s for.” She was like, “Would you be on it with me?” I’m like, “Camera? Me talking? No.” She smiled, and I was like, “Okay.” It took her about 30 seconds to convince me. That opened up a window. Sitting down with all the people that I’ve known. It is not all, but a vast majority of people I have known for a long time. You learn. You discover. You were our first guest.
I was at it. It was cool.
The connection that you get through those conversations is huge. We do lunch after. That moment is a two-hour window of sharing deep conversations.
Clutter Bravado: A Love Letter To California’s Creatives
What is the main thing people are getting out of listening to Clutter Bravado? What is the takeaway for you, or the hopeful takeaway?
It has evolved. At first, it was very design-oriented. We didn’t know where the conversation was going to go. Now, it has become a love letter to California, LA specifically, because we’ve been up to San Francisco a couple of times to interview people up there. I realized that I love the state. I’ve been here for 31 years. I love the people who have been in my life. I genuinely love them. The moments we’ve spent in Malibu or at dinner have always been magical. It’s a love letter to California.
You’re mostly interviewing designers, people who have aesthetic sensibility.
It’s creatives, too. We’ve had someone who makes perfume, Perfumehead, which was fantastic. We had a couple of actors, a few artists, and photographers. We’re going to the creatives and all the people who make the state what it is. I’m going to look for someone who makes olive oil in this state. It’s the passion of the creatives. There are people who make fabric. We interviewed people who make lighting fixtures.
What have you found to be the through line through all of them? Whether it’s the perfume company, the art dealer, the furniture maker, or the interior designer, what tends to be the common thread?
All of us make it. We don’t do it for ourselves. We share with others. I also think that there is a passion. There is an optimism in all of us. That’s your go-getters. There are ups and downs. We wake up in the morning the day after, and we go deeper. We try to tweak it. We never stop. None of those people stops.
What I love about it, too, is they’re all doing something that nobody has ever seen or heard or thought of before, for the most part. That’s what makes it so beautiful because you have to have faith, optimism, and the belief in what you’re bringing to light because it’s not obvious. It hasn’t been done usually.
It’s also that everyone has a different aspect. We ask, “What do you notice when you walk into a space?” We’ve had 54 interviews and 54 different answers. Everybody sees things differently and has a different point of view, even if it’s design or art. We did have someone who does AI art. I don’t agree with most of it, but the conversation was interesting because there were parts where I was like, “I never thought about that that way.” We had a playwright and actor, Eric Toms. It was fascinating because that’s a different field from work. He’s a creative. You feel the same. There’s no difference with creatives. There’s still that passion. There’s still that optimism because how many knows how many things you fail at? The thing is that no matter how much you fail, everybody goes back into it and is like, “No.”
The best thing I ever heard was fail often, fail fast. Don’t hang on when it’s not working unless you believe you can make it work. Move on quickly and be okay with it. Failure becomes exciting. I’ve had a lot of respect for you because you’ve been very successful and you’re brilliant. You pick yourself up quickly. Speaking of that, let’s pivot for a second. One of the things that’s amazing about your place is that you walk in, and one of the first things you see is a bar. It’s a bar that feels like I’m back somewhere in your home country of France, and some little hidden away Art Deco Speakeasy. That bar has a different meaning for you now.
I work at it. I look at apps. I got sober a little bit.
Sobriety And The Circle Of Control: A New Perspective
Has it been two and a half years? I remember when you came to my boys’ dinner. You didn’t get a good year out of it.
I got a good year out of it.
That’s good.
Alcohol and I got a good use of it, no matter what. No regret there. A year and something later, I got sober. I had some pleasure working at the bar and looking at all those bottles.
What’s amazing about you is that you are still the hostess of the mostest. You’re still doing a cocktail of the night. You’re taking care of everybody. That’s my big question for you. This show is about the circle of control. I am as passionate about it as you are about lathing that perfect chair leg or whatever. When we focus on what we can control, our circle keeps growing. Our life keeps getting better. When we focus outside the circle, politics, climate change, these things that are so important, if we’re not willing to do something or we can’t, you start crushing your circle with all that worry. What I’m fascinated about and would love you to talk about for people is how that concept of the circle of control changed for you by being sober. How did it help you get sober?
That has been huge. Sobriety was a low point, but the process of changing your life when you have to get sober, I didn’t do it because I wanted to lose a couple of pounds. As a result, I did, but the impetus was not that I needed to look better. What happens then for me, and I’ll speak about my experience at that point, is that I had all that energy suddenly. All that time that was spent on either drinking or figuring out when I was going to start drinking or recovering from drinking was a substantial amount of time.
I got all that energy in all that time. Your life has to change. There is no way you can stay the same. Your brain changes also. I believe that. It was the meditation. You have to implement all those things and all those steps in your day to keep you growing because it’s a regrowth. Suddenly, you start controlling your body first. At least for me, it’s like, “I don’t have the alcohol, so I’m going to start taking care of myself, my body, and then my mind.” Meditation is every morning because you have the energy. Because you wake up in the morning, you feel clear-headed.
You wake up feeling good.
There was meditation, which opens up the door to many other things. Once you start it, there’s a new community. It is very funny because when you talk about my dinner parties, I used to empty bottles of wine and alcohol. Now, I empty bottles of sparkling water. I’m like, “No one drinks?” I realized that I was the pusher of that thing.
Nine of those ten bottles were mine.
All those things change. You become the outside, the external part. You have let them go a little bit. Letting go is a big part.
Does that relate to inside the circle or outside the circle?
Outside the circle, you start to let go. I couldn’t medicate stress with alcohol, so you have to deal with your stress in a different way.
Talk more about that because that’s a great point. By staying in the circle, you don’t need to medicate as well when you’re focused outside.
You can’t medicate. You need to stay focused on your sobriety at first, especially for anybody who starts with that. Sobriety needs to be your main focus. You focus on that. I had a program. I followed that. Suddenly, your community grows because you’re out a little bit more. You can go out three nights or four nights a week and come back at 10:15, sleep well, and do it again the day after.
How interesting by being sober, you could socialize more and better.
At the time, I would come home at 1:15. You discover a new community of sober people with whom you get in touch. That’s a great community of people. It’s interesting. It’s a lot of people who have gone through things and made some big changes. I’ve dug deep to figure out what their disease was. You have deep conversations with people that I didn’t have when I was a barfly.
I love that deeper connection because you’re not having surface conversations.
The day after, you remember your conversation instead of, “What did I say yesterday?”
What did I see? I was talking to you. Did I see you?
You grow a new community. You grow a new set of habits that are focused on you. We live in a world where we have too much information coming at us from every angle. The one thing that I’ve come to realize is that all that information that’s coming at you, I take it into consideration. It’s true about climate change. I’ve changed my way of making furniture, for example. I’m aware of it. I try to be as conscious about that. In politics, I have my views. We’re trying to see if the podcast can help give a voice to different perspectives, but be able to support that where I’m supporting a couple of charities.
Conscious Choices: Impacting Community And The Environment
I love the way you say that. I can’t personally stop climate change, but I can start choosing my materials better.
We choose our materials better. We choose our foam better. Even the power, we’ve changed some of the electrical, and all that stuff. We use less power.
That’s good because AI needs that power.
It’s little things like that where I believe that’s what I can do to impact my little community. I try not to delve into it. I treat technology a little bit like alcohol. It can be an addiction for sure. I make sure that it stays where it’s supposed to be. It’s useful.
It is interesting, as sobriety helped you with that. I never thought about that. Does sobriety and going through those steps or that process automatically make you better at not being addicted to social media?
I don’t know if it makes me better, but it makes me aware. I’m a lot more aware of my brain when it’s overloaded with the constant flux of politics that’s coming my way. I’m not going to be political about it, but what’s happening right now at the White House, which is taking down a historic building, is it good or bad? I’m not going to go there. I work with people here in LA to try to help them give a voice to preserve historical architecture.
You see that and you’re like, “Yes, there’s still work to be done because we can’t destroy, rebuild, and not take care of our history.” As you know, I’m a proud French guy. Even though I’ve been here for 31 years. I’m a proud Angeleno now. I want to be proud of my city. I’m proud of the people who are in this city. That’s part of it. The architecture and the art are part of our history and part of our identity. Those are little things. You pick up on it. I don’t need to go read and listen to all the outrageousness. I’m like, “I don’t agree with it. Let’s see what I can do.”
I love that attitude. I love that you’re saying that, because we all have our beliefs, but I always say strong beliefs, loosely held. It’s important to have strong beliefs, but if we don’t try to find common ground or connect with people, we’re doomed. I love the way you said that. I don’t necessarily agree with what they’re doing, but I’m not going to be here to say it’s good or bad. That’s not for me to judge. I have my opinion, but ultimately, what is the other side of it? I’m always thinking that these days. As I get older, instead of trying to be right or trying to make you understand my point, I’m trying to default to what I can learn from what I don’t know.
I do have strong opinions about things that are very important to me. I have a red line that if you go past that, I’m not going to pay attention. I’m not interested in your opinion. You can go by yourself. If you stay within reason and you’re outside of my comfort zone to my red line, I will reach out. Once you’re in that mode, you remove the stories, and you remove the superficial things that people believe, you can find common ground because we’re all on this planet. The search for happiness is for everybody to try to get there. You can break barriers that way.
Visually, I’m picturing the circle with this gray zone of buffer.
There’s a buffer.
There’s a gray zone where you’re dipping in and out of the circle. Getting sober, what were the things outside the circle that you had to not focus on to be able to get sober? Is that a challenge for people going through sobriety? Do they tend to hang on to things outside their control?
I’ll talk for myself. Getting sober became not a full-time job, but for a while, the most important thing was to build my life as a sober person. You discover things. It’s one day at a time. One day at a time can also be used in your business and with relationships with people. It’s one day at a time. For example, not drinking is an hour at a time, a minute at a time, or a day at a time. That’s a big rule. When someone pisses you off, it is one day at a time, because tomorrow, you will feel differently.
That email that you didn’t send or that phone call that you didn’t give that day, did they piss you off? They did. Did they do something wrong? Possibly. Did they deserve to be treated badly? No, it didn’t need to happen. The day after, you have a completely different perspective. They messed up, but I did mess up a little bit on that, too. Let’s come to a middle ground. You can use some of those things yourself. By getting sober, you refocus a lot on yourself.
There’s the service part, which is still focusing on yourself, but also helping others get sober. It’s true that I’m spending more time with a couple of charities because I’m trying to give back. It does allow you to have a lot of things that focus on your environment. That’s your close community, your friends, and your sober community. Suddenly, all those things become important. You spend a little bit less time dreaming or talking about things that you have zero control over, but suddenly, you have a couple of drinks. I used to be very good at it. I was so smart and so much smarter than everybody else. It was scary.
Just listening to you is so beautiful because you do have such great clarity. Everything you’re saying, I respect it. You’re very able to see both sides of things. I can hear it in your description. You don’t start with the judgment. You start with maybe or could be. That’s a great way to be because everyone these days is so ready to judge immediately. “I already have it all figured out without any information.”
I also think that again, my sobriety, I was so sure of myself for so long. Once you take all that down and you start to rebuild, suddenly, you’re like, “Let’s put it this way. I’m not going to be so sure of anything for a while because you don’t get there by it.” For me, it was healthy to be able to take a step back. “Let’s focus on what matters.”
Mind And Body Transformation: The Benefits Of Sobriety
That’s part of what you’re talking about with your mind improving. You said physically, you’ve improved. I’ve watched you lose weight and get back to rips. That’s a great example of your mind improving. As you said, you’re taking that energy back that was going into the wrong things.
I also waited for quite some time to get sober, so I’m definitely on the later side. The brain is a big thing. Your brain health is a huge thing. I am able to sleep at night better, wake up in the morning, and do my routine.
You went from doing almost nothing physically to boxing.
We’ve known each other a lot through that. It’s a mental health thing. I workout almost on a daily basis and spend that hour. Same thing, I go to a gym. I know so many people from that gym. I’ve built a connection from that gym. The relationship has been incredible.
How does it affect your business, being sober?
I don’t know that it has yet. There are definitely changes. There’s a lot more time. I was a functioning alcoholic, so I was able to show up for my business. I was not able to show up for anything else. That’s the problem.
Do you think you’re better with your crew now?
I’m a lot calmer. I’m calmer even with things that happen within the business. We all have those days when we get two bad emails. You screwed up on something. Someone screwed you up on something. The small business life doesn’t affect me as much as it used to. I’m more toward the solution instead of spiraling out of control and being like, “Can you imagine that she said that?” I’m like, “Let’s find the solution,” because I don’t want to waste any time.
I love that you said that, too, because that’s my biggest thing. I call it storytelling. The book my co-author and I have coming out is The Reduction. Reduction is getting all the water out of your life. A great sauce is great because it’s cooked down. The water goes away. The flavors compound. Doing that, you have to stay in the circle. You have to stop telling stories. You said it so perfectly. I don’t want to let that go because it’s important for people to know that. Most people default to the whole backstory of “I can’t believe he or she would say that. Why would they do that? I wonder if it’s because I did this.” They go into this whole thing that spirals. The truth is what you said. Let’s just fix it. We don’t need to know the backstory. What can I choose to do right now to move this forward?
Part of it is also with meditation and trying to figure it out. You’re in the shower, and suddenly, you have that conversation with someone who is not there. You’re getting all pissed off about this email. It’s nice to be able to sit back. This conversation is not happening. There’s nothing real there. I don’t need to get stressed. I’m going to shower. I’ll figure out the solution.
Maybe it is a little bit with sobriety, and it’s a little bit with age, to be able to focus on finding the solution so that you can focus on what’s important in some respect. Be it friends, family, or business, everybody has a long list of things that are important in their lives. That’s where you need to focus your energy. All those Instagram posts are not going to improve your life. I’m sorry. Making dinner and spending time with your loved ones is going to, in the long run, change your life.
All those Instagram posts won’t improve your life; making dinner and spending time with loved ones will. Share on XI always say bring joy. What we control more than anything, which you do brilliantly, is everywhere you go in a 20-foot radius, spreading joy, being of service, and being of value. If everyone does that, those 20-foot circles will start connecting. We’ll all be there.
Being supportive is the other thing. Through sobriety and the sober community that I’ve built around me, the support of those people is tremendous. I would not be sober if it were not for all those people.
My son has been through this, too. I can’t wait to do a show with him as well. That’s what I’ve learned from listening to him, you, and other friends who are getting sober. It’s the ultimate example of what community and connection will do.
Building Community: Finding Support Beyond Traditional Spaces
I find in my design business, the design community is tremendous. The support that I’ve had from so many people is so strong. We support each other. I’ve discovered a little bit of acting because Elyse is an actor, so she has brought me into this world. Same thing. That community is so supportive because they eat crap on a daily basis. They show up for each other. They show up for themselves. They fight even more than the design community. We discovered that. If you go back to being a kid, you have your friends, your support. You’re on your soccer team. There’s that optimism and that support that we lose a little bit. You have a family, and you have kids. You close in a little bit. You spend a little bit less time with outside people. You lose a little bit of that. I found it again.
It’s funny you say that because I heard somebody. I don’t remember who it was. They said a brilliant thing. They said it’s three places. We used to always have three places, which are a work community, a home life, and then church, we’ll call it, because that’s what it was for people. You nailed it. You’re exactly right. It is the same idea. People have gone more inward. We lost the work community because of the COVID stuff. We’ve lost the church community because a lot of people aren’t on board with religion anymore. You’re left with just home, which is not enough. For you, one of those three places has become the sober community, which is awesome.
Church, by all means, but there are so many other places where you can get that community. You don’t need to go to church. You don’t need to be religious to have a community of people who are explorers. I go to acting classes. I’m the dinosaur in there, but you know what? I’m not doing it for myself. I’m seeing a whole community of people that are fascinating and creative, trying, writing, and putting things in place that they’re paying for because it’s fascinating. Be there. Support those people. All those artists who do shows, put all their money into their art, and put up their shows, go see them. Talk to them. See that community. There are gyms everywhere in this town. Build your community around health.
Those are our new three places.
Build those communities, a church, or a charity. There are charities that need volunteers. They all get together. They all think alike. That’s a big thing for our podcast. It’s online. You listen to it, hopefully, while you’re driving. After that, just park your car and go see someone. Go talk to them. It could be your barista. Go talk to him or her because that will change your life.
Spreading Joy: The Impact Of Small Interactions
I’ve said this on other shows. I always make a point of saying this because it’s part of spreading that circle of joy. I love to try to make a difference in the cashier’s life, the barista’s life, or anybody I cross for two minutes. It needs to be sincere. When I truly see something they’re wearing that says something about who they are, I love to call it out. They enjoy that, or being pleasant. I saw this woman slam her latte cup down on the barista, take off the lid, and say, “Does that look like no foam to you?”
I was this close to saying to that woman, “Is your life that bad? That foam is your reason to blow up on this poor girl who is working her butt off with 50 tickets up.” The opposite is, “Thank you.” I always say that to them. “It’s amazing how much product you’re putting out. You’re incredible, and you’re still smiling. Thank you.” Those little things can make a difference in people’s lives.
I was at the supermarket and talking to the cashier. We talked about his day, my day, and that he had fifteen minutes left. I’ve seen him a couple of times. We chat. Go talk to people. With social media, I don’t know that it has been neutral. It has brought me enough in terms of information that I’ve been able to use or connect with people. It has taken out hours that I should have probably been reading. If you put it together, most likely, it’s borderline neutral. One thing I know for sure is that it’s not improving my life. Improving my life is going to an antique store, going to a design store, or going to a design event. I went to an event in LA, a concert or a band. It uplifted my soul a thousand times. I was listening to two bands perform and seeing all the people singing, dancing, and cheering.
Humans can be magic. Share on XWe need that.
That uplifted my mood by a thousand.
Most people don’t get done scrolling and then feel invigorated.
If I had spent an hour and a half on social media or reading the New York Times, my mood would not have been good. It also gets you to see how the world is. We have all those creative people. We have all those fascinating people who are magic. Humans can be magic. It is by trying to get out a little bit and trying to maybe get out of your comfort zone, too. It is joining a gym when you haven’t worked out in a long time.
I showed up there. I was like, “I’m going to do my ten pounds on each side, humble. I’m not going to get injured.” I was lucky that I was in a gym where everybody was so supportive. I feel good, but it was uncomfortable. There are the stories. I’m older. I’m out of shape. What am I doing here? Those are stories that we tell each other. I don’t know why. I went to an event where it was not my scene, per se. I had a magical time.
You made your scene. That’s the thing. It’s important. We all have to remember that we still have the control of choice. The universe is going to do what it’s going to do. You can’t control what’s going to happen, but you can control your choices. You can choose to go to that event and be uncomfortable. It ends up being something great. I also believe, too, with social media and all these things, these companies need to be way more regulated and more responsible. Just like alcohol, it wasn’t the enemy.
You took control of your life. I love that you’re looking away. I want to hear the opposite of this thought. My thought is, we have to all also own our behavior. I love social media. I only go on it a half an hour a day. My feed is full of inspiring stuff. That’s important to remember that we still have control. Social media is not the enemy. Alcohol is not the enemy. Other people aren’t the enemy. What I choose to do and how I choose to react is what I control. Give me the other side of that.
It is true up to a point. I am not a doctor. I’m not a scientist. I don’t know if a glass of wine is good for you or not.
That’s not your goal.
There are problems with social media. There are problems with alcohol. We are fed through advertisements. There’s a lot of it. At some point, yes, we do have control. Ultimately, you’re right that as a human being, you have the possibility to shut everything down.
It would be nice to have it be a little easier.
I’m trying to be a big advocate of common sense. I’m trying to run my life as much as I can with the simple thing of common sense, which I lost in the height of my drinking thing. I’m trying to run it all and be sensible.
Common Sense In A Complex World: The Path To Progress
Let’s wrap this up with that thought. Finish by talking about how you see common sense and what that looks like, because that’s a valuable statement. It’s so cliché, but there’s a lot to unpack there.
The common sense is that we have, for example, fantastic writers throughout history, all the way from the Greeks to now. There are people who are brilliant. Their brains are brilliant. Just read a book a month. I don’t care.
All of the knowledge of the world is in books.
It doesn’t need to be 52 books, have the reading list, and all that stuff. Try to read a book a month. Even easier, download an audiobook. Buy the book and do both. In LA, the amount of driving we do, you’ll get through a couple of books. You’ll get through plenty of audiobooks. It makes your reading a little bit easier because you’ve already listened to it.
That’s what I do with A New Earth. I’ve loved Eckhart Tolle. At night, I listen to A New Earth audio, even though I’ve read and heard it a hundred times, because it drills in.
My point with common sense is that I’m not saying eat healthy every day, but 90% of the time, if you eat healthy, it changes your life. We know how to eat healthy. There are things we know that are bad for you. If you have a glass of wine and it doesn’t impact anything, please be my guest. If you wake up every morning with a hangover, look at it and be like, “Maybe I need to be honest with myself.” Use common sense, too much alcohol. Social media is the same way. Social media can be great.
If you spend three hours and it’s not your job, you look at it and be like, “Common sense.” You’re like, “I’m spending too much time.” If all you can do is sit on the couch, watch TV, or play video games, I’m sure video games are great. I’m lucky that when we grew up, it was Atari and Pac-Man. It was hard to get addicted, even though I probably spent too much time on Pac-Man. I can’t imagine how it is now to have Call of Duty or something like that. I was like, “Space Invader.” I did it. I figured that it’s great. If that’s all you can do, maybe look at it and be like, “I need to go out.”
I love that. Does this make sense? If it doesn’t, what choice can I make to change it?
You can push that further. Look at your beliefs. If they don’t make any sense, start thinking for yourself. Read more books and read more articles instead of X. The X is 90 words or something. Don’t get your information from tweets. Just read.
Is it common sense to have an opinion or get worked up over that many letters?
Read The Wall Street Journal or The New York Times. I don’t care which side of it. There are people who write for The Wall Street Journal who are brilliant. Do I agree with some of them? No, I don’t, but I can read them.
That’s the note to end on. Use common sense. Whatever you read, whatever you listen to, or whatever you see happening in your life, stop and go, “Does this make sense?” If not, where do we go from here?
Again, it’s not perfection. It’s progress. I am flawed.
Better every day, a little bit.
I am the most flawed person you will know.
No, come on. I’m in competition with you.
I will try to get likely better today and a little bit better tomorrow, and reflect on it. That’s it. I’m not giving lessons like, “Look at this sage.”
Final Thoughts: Service And Connection
That’s the best thing you could say. I so agree. I always say, “A little better than I was last week.” Can I cringe at my former self, smile, and know that it’s okay because I’m better now? I love you, brother. Any last thoughts you want to share? We’re both of service.
I’m so happy. Thank you for having me on my first show as a guest.
You’re a natural as a host.
Otherwise, @ClutterBravado is on Instagram. Listen to us and Elyse. She’s absolutely fantastic.
Everyone should check out Clutter Bravado because you guys are such a dynamic duo. You have such different energies. It’s entertaining. It’s thoughtful.
She has brilliant questions. I’m having a lot of fun with that.
We all need to elevate our aesthetics because, at the end of the day, what you surround yourself with, including your thoughts, makes your life great or not.
It is the same way as cooking. Be thoughtful. It doesn’t need to be caviar on eggs. It can be a homemade salad. Your interior is the same thing. Buy something you like. It does not need to be expensive. Buy something you like. Put a candle. Light up a candle. Do a simple salad, light up a candle, and have your better half for dinner.
We’re not going to have the candle, but I’m about to make us a killer salad. I love you.
I love you.
Important Links
- Laurent Rebuffel on Instagram
- Clutter Bravado
- Clutter Bravado Episode 1: Jeffrey Saad and The Circle of Control – on YouTube
- Clutter Bravado Ep 52: WRITE IT YOURSELF!: How to Keep Theater Alive in LA with Eric Toms – on YouTube
- A New Earth
- Clutter Bravado on Instagram
About Laurent Rebuffel
A second generation antique dealer whose passion for restoring vintage furniture led him to design, Laurent is the engineer who brings the architecture of Kimberly Denman Inc. to life.