Jeffrey Saad sits down with perhaps his most important guest ever: his wife, Nadia. Together with the woman of his dreams, they reminisce about their first meeting, their dating experiences, and how they overcame their biggest hurdles as a married couple. They talk about the struggles and joys of raising their children, the right way to handle constant changes in their relationship, and the many lessons they have learned and shared throughout their journey so far. Nadia also opens up about her challenging childhood, how she got rid of her scarcity mindset, and how her upbringing shaped her into the amazing woman and mother she is today.
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Nadia: The Woman of My Dreams
I am excited, maybe a little bit nervous too, because I have probably the most important guest, the biggest guest, the most famous guest in my eyes this time, my amazing wife, Nadia. I have talked about her so much. You’re going to get to find out all the truths about me as she tells you her version of my version of what our life is all about.
The reason I wanted to bring my wife on is because I feel like we are so blessed. If there’s any way we can help any other couples out there by hearing what we’ve gone through and what’s worked for us, it’ll make me so happy. I used to stare at my wife and talk to her, which I love doing but before I let her start going into her stuff, I figured there’s no better way for you to meet my wife and understand my wife than to hear the text that she got on her birthday from our children.
This is the text from Isabella, our daughter, to her mother, my wife, Nadia, on her birthday. “It’s my beautiful mama’s birthday. There aren’t enough letters in the keyboard and words I can form to come close to articulating how much I love you and how much I cherish the way our relationship has evolved and grown to be a space where we can both confide, listen, laugh, cry, and everything in between. How I strive every day to emulate the compassion and celebration you show yourself.”
“You never apologize for who you are and what you want. In turn, it resulted in the most beautiful life. Every day, whether I show it or not, I miss you so deeply but it’s constantly a reminder of how deeply binding and intertwined our souls are. I choose to see it as just that. I love you so much. No one gets more refined and beautiful with age than you. You wear it every year with even more grace and elegance than I thought possible.” I’m such a cheeseball. I’m welling up even reading this. My love, how does that make you feel to hear that big read?
First of all, it was my turn to cry. You took my moment. I’m staring at you crying. Words cannot express how that text made those years of being a mother and everything I’ve been through completely worthwhile. I could sleep every night knowing that my kids had this kind of impression of me.
Well said. You deserve it so much. You’ve so earned it. We’re going to talk about that because we both know it wasn’t always that way. That is the beauty of evolution. That is the amazing thing. There’s nothing incredible about starting fantastic. What’s incredible is to grow. It’s more impressive to me that somebody goes from 1 to 3 than somebody who starts at 9 and never moves. By no means were you a 1, you were always a 10 in my mind as a mother, wife, friend, lover, and everything.
The evolution, which people will love to hear about, is so amazing. Before we get into that, I’m going to read the one from Sebastian, our son, who adores his mother. “Happy birthday, Nana. That’s his nickname for Nadia. Your presence in my life is a continuous reminder of what grace, strength, courage, elegance, and a mother’s love are in my life. To everything you’ve given me, everything you’ve shown by example, and everything you’ve done, I am reminded there is no one like my Nana.” I love that boy and I love you.
That was probably the more challenging one. It all worked out great when we had children. It’s the image we have of this happy-go-lucky family, the mom and dad are in love, we’re all always happy and positive but then very quickly, we realize that there are other elements in the world that shape them into who they are.
When we see a challenge with them, we take it so personally like we did something wrong. This came as such a huge awakening to me. We were having dinner with our kids for Christmas and some good friends. We were asking questions going around the table. One of the questions that was asked of the kids was, “What did your parents do that you wish they didn’t or you feel like it was a mistake?” It’s different.
Our friends asked everyone at the table this question.
Isabella turned and said, “You guys don’t understand that you make up a little piece of our development and our life.” There are so many other elements like schools, friends, and peer pressure. Everybody that you come in contact with growing up makes an impression on you and shapes you into who you are. Even if we’re having challenges, it’s not because of you.
What she also said that I loved, and you captured beautifully which hit me so deeply, was, “You don’t need to be involved in every part of our life. It’s not for you,” meaning us as parents, to have to have an impact on everything they’re going through. She said, “There are things we need to go through on our own.” It’s so obvious but it was such a wake-up call because we all know we’re in this time of massive helicopter as parents.
We want to be saviors. She calls me and she’s having a bad day. I feel like it’s my responsibility to fix it or make her feel good. She’s across the country. She’s not even here.
I love that quote. It’s not about clearing the path for your children. It’s about preparing your children for the path. There was that beautiful poem that I’ll screw up because I read it so many years ago but I remember that poem was great. It said, “You are the bow and your child is the arrow.” You form this arrow the best you can. You shave it down so it’ll fly perfectly straight through the wind. You create these little tail feathers so it has a great guidance system and is in the perfect point so we can hit the target.
Meeting Each Other And First Impressions
You pull that arrow back and hold it back. Once you let go, you’re done. The arrow is in flight and you have to be at peace with the direction that arrow goes. This is what’s hilarious about this show. It’s about you and I. What are we talking about? The kids. It’s so easy for kids to consume your lives. One of the things I want to share with everybody, Nadia, is how blessed I feel to have you. Seeing those eyes of yours and stopping me dead in my tracks at Chestnut Street in 1992 when I was building my first restaurant, I will never forget I saw you and was like, “Oh my God.”
It wasn’t your sheer beauty, which there was plenty of that, with this jet black hair and these beautiful green eyes. It could have been a black rainy day and it would have lit up the street. It would have made the whole place bright. I remember feeling your energy like, “I have to talk to this woman.” You’ve all heard me probably talk about this before but I was like, “If everything goes wrong, I still don’t have her. I have nothing to lose.” What was your version of that? Do you remember that?
I do. When you’re young, you get hit by guys here and there. You can detect the cheesy insincere ones. When you walked by, your smile was so big. It almost lit me. There was such an energy that I bought into your pick-me-up.
I wish I had said something so suave and smooth but I’m sure I was like a bubble.
You were yourself and yourself was beautiful.
I remember I left you and walked into the restaurant. I was waiting tables out while I was building my first restaurant, which you then became such a big part of. I remember saying, “I just met my wife.” That was many years ago. Our 29th anniversary is on April 13th, 2025. We even make a bad number lucky. We were happy and married that day because, for us, it was a lucky number anyway.
This is on a side note. That was the only day that venue was available, remember? Unless we had to wait another year. We both looked at each other like, “We’ll take it.”
What Did It Take To Evolve Three Times
It’s so beautiful. I love you more every year. We’re closer every year. We can talk so much about all these things and how we’ve gotten there. It’s so joyful. I remember hearing about a famous woman psychologist. She said something along the lines of, “You got two choices. You either get married 3 times or evolve 3 times.” The young party partner you were is not necessarily going to be the amazing mom and wife who then is not necessarily going to be the person you want to ride off in the sunset with when the kids leave the house. Those are three very different people.
I am so grateful and proud that we have managed to evolve through those three stages successfully. We have an empty nest. It’s a great moment as we speak in January of 2025 because our son moved into the sober living house that he’s going to manage. Our daughter got a promotion and all kinds of accolades at her job in Brooklyn. She works for Farrow & Ball. Everything’s in a great place. How do you think we have managed to evolve those three times or do you disagree?
No. You’re right. Over the years we’ve been together, we have built a foundation, which is very cliché but we have almost got all these points, which is the best way to explain. You’ve done so much good in the years and I have done so much good that even through the hard times, you’re not depleted because there was so much good that came. You were full of joy and then you had your moments of we’re not getting along or we’re having challenges. You get a little depleted but then you go back to the good times and replenish that.
I love the way you said that. One of the analogies I always use in life in general, and you made it very clear that it even applies to relationships, is the overdrawn checking account. When you give somebody tons of love and help and you’re a great friend, partner, teacher, or whatever it is, you’re putting deposits in that account. You should have this big balance.
You were drawing but there’s still in there, whatever it is, love, faith, or trust.
That’s a big lesson and we’ll get to that at some point in the future. Anybody in a relationship, if you’re going to have your partner be overdrawn in negative territory from one action or situation, that’s something worth reconsidering. If there are enough deposits there, that should be okay. It might not feel good at the moment or not be ideal but it should be okay to recover. If not, then that’s something for you to consider. If you feel like your life, partnership, and relationship is something that’s constantly getting overdrawn. That’s a separate conversation. It’s funny too. I want you to share your side of this. I joke in some of the past episodes that it took me almost 25 years to know you.
What you’re saying is that the person that I am today is a product of everything that I went through from when I met you. When we met, we were kids in party mode and restaurants. Life is great and fun. We then had the kids. I stepped into motherhood and became a mother. That was my primary focus. Once the kids got a little older, I became a little more independent. It’s completely different. I feel like I finally have the space to take all those experiences. It pretty much made me who I am today and that’s the beauty.
To me, that’s a separate thing. You can share some of those experiences here shortly of your childhood but you had a lot of rough things happen like I’ve shared with everybody. Yet I always say I’m glad those things happen because I wouldn’t want you one bit different. I love everything that you are, everything that you bring, and all of it. I would never take a chance of pulling out one of those ingredients.
As a chef, I would say, “You can’t pull out one ingredient and have the same dish.” Be grateful for the bitter elements and rougher textures because they make the sweet so much sweeter and the smooth so much smoother. It took me 25 years to realize that you were doing your best with me but you need your space. You grew up as an only child and you’re used to having your own space. People reading this episode are like, “Shut up and let her talk.” I’m always the talker, the engaged one but you need that space.
Very much. Things finally shifted where you realize that and you give me that space. You started and it’s at a good level. I tell you every day how much I appreciate that because, without that space, I cannot be my best for you. That is something that I need. I’m glad that you understood that. It’s not that I don’t want to be with you. It’s because I want to be by myself. I want to have my quiet time.
Give your partner some space for themselves so they can always tap into their authentic selves. Share on XThat’s what everyone should understand. How you make a relationship amazing is not focusing on what I need. “I’m missing. She’s not giving me enough attention.” Focus on what the other person needs. “She needs her space. I owe it to her. What’s wrong with me? I need to go find something else to do with my time.” That’s one of the things you and I have done best, my love.
I don’t know if it happened naturally. I know I’ve always journaled, read, and focused on it but one of the things I always tell people that we do so well is we do make a list, even if it’s not technically a list but we make a list of everything we love about the other one and appreciate. I feel like that makes us spiral upwards. We don’t make lists of, “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you and it’s one of the most empowering things you’ve done for me. I have never heard you say you’re not enough in this, you’re not doing that, or why isn’t this happening.” Even in some of our darkest times, you never made me feel less than or that I wasn’t doing enough.
Overcoming The Scarcity Mindset
One of my favorite stories is how you distill years of love, passion, kids, and marriage into the show but I want to tell this story because it’s the most amazing story of who you are. For the first twenty-some years we’re together, you’re the warrior. That’s your upbringing. You’re Iranian. You grew up in Italy, You speak perfect Farsi and Italian. There’s no such thing as one stereotype but as you always taught me, this Iranian culture does have a little bit more of a heaviness or maybe not always seeing the best side of everything.
I come from a country that was destroyed by war and the revolution where we were forced out of our country. That’s a big trauma. Some of the common denominator issues with my culture are a product of that. Whereas probably if you knew Iranians before the revolution, you would have a very different idea of that.
That’s what I love about you and what you’ve done for me too, meeting this foreign woman right out of the gate as a Chicago boy. We were in San Francisco and meeting you, this foreign woman, already opened my eyes up to the world. If everybody took the time to understand other countries, cultures, and ways of being, we’d live in a better place.
You grew up with very little money. Your dad was successful and all that but he died. You can talk about that. You were always in a place of scarcity, we’ll call it. Everything was going to come to an end. We were never going to be okay. I remember it caused a lot of fights in our early relationships. I’m like, “Geez, we’re better every year. Why?”
That was one of the biggest differences in our early years of marriage. You came from a place of money flowing around and mom giving you $100 when you were 10 to go to those Ferriss wheels or whatever you call them. You had a very different upbringing than I did. The way I saw you spend freely and carelessly scared the thing out of me. I’m like, “I don’t want to end up losing everything. I’ve been through that already. I want to build my life.”
I had a solid business plan, which was, “We’ll figure it out. It’ll all work out.” That’s true love because I don’t give you enough credit looking backward for how hard that had to be for you to come from such scarcity and adapt to such bountifulness in attitude, energy, and everything else. I want everyone to know a story of true love and true conquering.
It was about 2013 and my Food Network show got canceled. I was hosting a show for three seasons. It was a cooking channel in the United States of America. I said, “While we’re waiting for another show, I’ll open another restaurant. It’s been years.” Many of you have read that in a past episode. I opened La Ventura. You were scared and unsure. Even though I rushed into it like I do everything, I’ve always had that philosophy that a good decision made quickly is way better than a perfect decision that takes forever. It has served us 90% of our life but there was one time when it didn’t.
You were hesitant but yet you were all in. You did the design and helped with everything. You and I opened this restaurant, La Ventura, here in Studio City, California. I will never forget the restaurant was a failure. By definition, it was not making enough money or barely making any money. At the same time, we were used to making great money in real estate and all my food endeavors. Money was never an issue in our relationship.
All of a sudden, not only am I not making money, or we not making money because you’re also helping me with the restaurant. You’re also not doing real estate because we both quit real estate when I got my TV show. We had five years without real estate. Not only we’re not making the money we used to make but we’re losing money. I’ll never forget being in the middle of the rush. I’ve cast a modern family. All these people are in there. We are so proud. I’m talking to tables, making the specials, and working with the kitchen.
I’m like, “Isn’t this great?” You looked at me straight in the eye and you’re like, “No. It’s not. We are losing our ass and this needs to end.” Many people who know Nadia know that she’ll speak her mind and say it like it is. You said it with such love and sincerity that it woke me up. The most amazing part of this story that I want to share is here’s my beautiful wife who comes from scarcity and is always worried. I gave her a reason to worry about a silver platter. We’re losing our ass. What did she do?
I told you, “See, look at this. Everything I’ve always worried about has come true.” You would’ve been right because I wasn’t making this thing work. Instead, you said, “We got this.” You went back to real estate working with Stephanie and made great money. Look at me, my ego is trying to take some credit. You paid the bills for that period. We got the restaurant sold and got back into real estate together. I will remember that forever because it was the time when you could have laid it to me.
What good would have that done? I knew that you knew you messed up. For me, it was like, “He had this desire to do this. He did it. It’s not working out but it’s time to stop.” We cannot keep feeding your restaurant whatever.
Honestly, how did you pull that off? It is not your wiring. Your wiring is to worry. How do you think you pulled that off to flip that and go into make-it-happen mode instead of victim mode or beat-me-up mode?
We had two kids who were in private schools. We had a life to maintain so for me to sit at home, complain, blame you, and be a victim would have not paid all those bills. For me, it was like, “I’m going to get back in real estate and give him another few months. If things are not working, that’s it. I’m going to tell him he needs to stop.” That’s exactly what I did. We’re still young. We bounced back. It was great. You do have to take risks in life.
This is one thing you have taught me. It is healthy for people to take risks instead of being stagnant all the time. Thankfully, we did it back then when we were still young and pulled out a bit. It’s part of our journey. I also appreciate the fact that you took it as, “I have to be done. You didn’t fight me or try to convince me.”
You know me. I take it very seriously to take care of my family. We’ve done it together. We’ve built our life, career, money, and everything together. I’ve always, as you know, taken it very seriously that this is my job and obligation. Anything you do, I want it to be because you want to not because you have to. Let’s go full rewind for a minute. Tell everybody this story of when we had the first restaurant.
Importance Of Establishing Respect To Each Other
We were dating. You started working there so you’re waiting shifts. You bounce between everything. You would do the accounting and then you’d get bored with it. You start waiting tables and helping out but you always do something to make a difference. You know the story I’m talking about. You’re waiting tables. It’s towards the end of the shift.
I’m waiting tables. I picked up a shift from someone who didn’t show up. I don’t remember what it was. We finished our service and closed the restaurant. I’m going around clearing the tables and making sure everything is back to where it belongs. I go to him and I’m like, “I’m done. I’m going to go home.” He comes out of the kitchen, goes in the bathroom, looks at the bathroom, comes back, and says, “The bathroom is not cleaned.” I’m like, “Excuse me?” “That’s part of your duty. Look, it’s on this sheet. These are the closing checklists.” I looked at him and walked out. You have to establish some kind of respect.
Married couples must learn how to establish some kind of respect to each other. Share on XThis is my version of a princess who’s being told to go scrub the toilet and clean the bathroom.
I’m like, “No.”
It was also a great lesson for me like, “It’s on the checklist but sometimes there are exceptions that probably should happen.” We had so much fun in general. I was being turned on by this whole new Iranian culture and the food, which I adore. Your mother, Lily June, we called her June as deer. She taught me how to make all these amazing Persian dishes. In the beginning, I was slowly learning the Persian culture. I used to love it because you and I would get a fight and you’d call your mom. You’d always hang up.
Two minutes later, I was with the tail in between my legs coming back to him. I’m, “Maybe I did make a mistake. I’m sorry.” My mom defended you more than she ever defended me in all my lifetime.
She knows how much I love you.
She trusted you. She loved you like a son. She was always on your side. This is the funny one too. We had just gotten married. Mom came to visit in San Francisco. The first morning I came down the stairs in my flannel pajamas, because as you know, San Francisco is always freezing. I see my mom’s face sitting on the couch, looking up, and shaking her head. I’m like, “What’s wrong?” She goes, “Are you going to come down in that ugly flannel, big old pajamas? Go and change into something nice. You just got married. Shame on you.” I’m like, “Mom, we’re in different times. I’m not going to wear some lingerie in the freezing cold.
Embracing Motherhood And Becoming A Great Mom
Talk a little bit more about being the amazing mom you are. There were times when you and Bella, especially in her teenage years, fought like crazy. We’ve had our challenges with Sebastian. Share what you think has helped you evolve into such an amazing mother. I believe that, as you know, with all this stuff that I talk about and do. I believe it is better every day even if it’s 1% Kaizen, as they call it, the art of becoming 1% better every day. It’s not about changing overnight or making these miraculous shifts. It’s forging ahead and being a little bit better. You have done that masterfully as a mother, wife, and friend. I’ve seen you with your friends but talk more about with the kids and how that’s happened.
It comes down to understanding your children. As you guys who have multiple kids, every child has a different personality. The key is to understand who your child is and give them what they need when they need it. In the past, I used to barge in, want to give my opinion, and want to control everything. This is when she was much younger. I slowly, as we all grew up, realized that we’re not the owners of our children. Their life is their life. I am here as a comfort, love, and support. More than anything, ears to listen. A lot of times, kids want to listen. They don’t want to hear your opinion. We always jump back into helicoptering and want to save them.
Being an example is the most powerful thing you can do. I love that quote. Who you are speaks so loudly, I can’t hear what you say. What they do is watch our actions or behaviors more than listen to our words.
There are times that Bella calls and the second I pick up the phone, I know where she’s at with her head. “Is this the day of nurturing? Is this the day of being the strong mom? Is this the day of laughing and joking?” I try to follow her lead. There are times that I screw up.
Mothers should follow their children’s lead to know the right time to nurture them or the best moment to be strong. Share on XThat wasn’t a screw-up. You were being your tough stuff. What’s been so amazing about you is you are the savior. If it was up to me, they would have had probably the very typical LA life. I love LA, our friends, and everyone here but LA is cliché for a reason. It can be very shallow. It’s all about the money and the stuff. I was much more giving and loving. You were much more tough. That was my savior.
Sometimes that tough side of me comes out maybe not always at the right times.
That was your upbringing. That was your mom. What you said was so beautiful and I see you do that. You are who you need to be based on where you’re at. In their early years, you showed up the same no matter what because that’s where your mom showed up for you. That’s what’s amazing about you. They love that about you, Bella especially. I have to feel like the hero sometimes because Bella would come to me like, “Dad, mom’s this and that.”
Did she really?
Of course. She knew those stories. She told me, “I felt bad if we were to go do something nice because I thought Mom thinks we shouldn’t spend that money.” The truth is full circle, she thanks you for it and loves that about you because she realizes what it gave her and what it did for her. You and I always joke. The only advice we’ll ever give a new parent is if it feels good, you’re screwing up because the right stuff doesn’t feel good. Saying no and doing what needs to be done doesn’t feel good.
We’ll keep making mistakes and trying to figure things out. I don’t think you’re ever going to be at the same level. It’s okay. I don’t hold grudges with my kids. I give them a day maybe to process what happened and then I will reach out. Most of the time already, that’s a big mistake when you don’t talk for days and it builds that negativity in you.
It is a big mistake for married couples to not talk for days. It builds negativity between you. Share on XDealing With Her Father’s Passing
In the next episode, I want to talk more about what you’ve done to save our kids, especially Sebastian. He’s in such a great sober place. Let’s finish this episode up. Anybody who knows you sees this beautiful, elegant woman who’s so confident, calm, and smart. You have such natural smarts but tell the story that always rocks me about how your dad passed and the boarding school story and stuff. I want people to understand more about where you’ve come from because it’s part of what’s made you so amazing if you’re comfortable sharing it.
I never lived in Iran because my father was a diplomat so we always were stationed in different places but we’d go in the summers. My dad passed away when I was eight.
You were in Abu Dhabi, right?
He was in Abu Dhabi finishing his mission there. We were supposed to regroup back in Iran with my two older sisters. On the way to Iran, we found out that he had a massive stroke at the age of 48 and he died. I didn’t even understand what it meant that he was dead. I remember my mom and sisters crying. I thought I had to cry too because this was bad but I had no idea what it meant. For months after that, I remember my uncle called me once and his voice was so much like my dad.
The second I answered the phone, I started screaming, “Mom, daddy’s on the phone. He’s come back.” I was very naive. After that, my mom got remarried and we moved to Italy and lived there but then the revolution started in Iran. My mom and my stepdad had to leave me in a boarding school. This was probably when I was about eleven.
They left me at this boarding school, a very scary place outside the city on the outskirts of Rome. This English woman was so mean. The place was not very crowded. There were maybe 5 or 6 students who were boarding there. During the day, it was a regular school but I was put in this room by myself. The first night I went to bed, I started hearing the scratching. We’re talking about this massive old room, all wood, cold. I’m laying there in bed by myself being separated from my mom.
I remember you telling me your mom dumped you there and didn’t even give you a pickup date.
They were going back to Iran to liquidate whatever we had so they could come back before the war started. That night, I went to bed and heard this scratching on the wood. I wake up and I’m walking around scared to death. All of a sudden, I hear it coming from this old desk. I opened the drawer and these three big rats jumped out. I started screaming, running through the corridors, and crying. There were two Indian women who were very sweet. They were caretakers during the boarding time. They took me in their room. I never forget I slept with one of them and I still can smell that Indian perfume. When I smell it, it gives me comfort.
We can wrap it up with this for people to think about. There’s a tragedy that happens every day all over the world. Part of the circle of control is not focusing on the things you can’t control. It is amazing how many kids’ business tragedies are because there were too many pumps of mint syrup in their latte or something. This is how you grew up and we’ll get into more of it later. I am trusting that everybody is going to be as in love with you as I am.
Thank you. I hope everybody’s as lucky to meet someone like you.
I adore you, my love.
Love you.