When it comes to creating a great life, you only have two choices: you either design it yourself or let others design it for you. Jeffrey Saad wants you to take control of your own journey, unlock peace of mind, and achieve genuine joy. In this episode, he shares his very own blueprint for designing a life you truly want to live. Jeffrey talks about his pyramid of joy, a framework for living a life fueled by optimism, fulfillment, and intentionality. He also explains how mental notes, morning affirmations, and a personal constitution have helped him develop his internal compass, gain clarity, and prioritize himself at all times.
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The Architecture Of A Great Life! This Is How To Set It Up
It’s good to have you here. If you’re new, I’m so grateful you’re here. I hope to leave you better than I found you. If you’re returning, then I’m blessed because you’re back and I hope to continue to provide some value. I love my life, but I’m realizing more than ever that it’s not an accident. It’s not because I’m so rich, because I’m not. It’s not because I’m so smart. I’m definitely not. It’s not because I’m so good-looking. Maybe okay. It’s definitely not because I have a full head of hair. It’s definitely not because I compare myself to others. It’s because of the way that I’ve designed my life. I can’t say I did it on purpose because it’s been going on for 30 or 40 years. I want to share with you the blueprints to what I now know to be the secret, the silver bullet.
We’re all looking for that thing. I really believe this is that thing. I want to share this blueprint with you so that you can live a life that’s intentional and joyful and not by accident. At the end of the day, you have two choices. You’re either going to design your life, be the curator, be the choreographer of life you want to live, or it’ll be designed by those around you. It’s really important to figure that out. The sooner you figure it out, whether you’re reading this and you’re 15 or you’re 75, there’s still time to do it and you can take control.
I started the day meditating, watching the sunrise. It was so brilliant. It is so easy here in LA to hear the traffic, hear the city, and hear the chaos, but it takes a little more effort to hear the birds chirping. I feel like the sounds between the sounds are what’s so magical. I sat there, and I felt like the sunrise and the symphony had been designed for me. It was just the most beautiful way to start the day.
Breaking Down The Pyramid Of Joy
What I want to share with you is what I refer to as my pyramid of joy. That pyramid has three sides. The base of the pyramid is the best self. That’s what I’ve talked about in the show so many times. Bringing your best self is the base of the pyramid. That is the foundation because if you don’t bring your best self to the ones you love, to business, to life, the rest won’t matter.
One side of the pyramid is best skills. I think whatever you do, you need to be great. You should always be focusing on being the best you can be. The other side of that pyramid is high standards, because you can bring your best self and you can rock those skills. I’m a realtor. A lot of my time is spent in real estate. Realtors make that mistake all the time. They work with anybody, anything, just to get a deal. You will wither.
It’s not if, it’s when. It’s just a matter of time before low standards will crush everything you’ve built because you need to believe you’re worth it. You need to say, “No, I don’t work with just anybody. I don’t just hang out with anybody.” The people you surround yourself with, the clients you choose to work with, the person you marry, for sure, the person you choose to be your partner in life, these are things that will affect everything.
Having high standards is like a joy filter. It is a success filter because when you won’t just work or be with anybody, you elevate yourself and everyone around you. That pyramid also needs to be shaded all the way through like a jelly-filled donut of optimism. Optimism is the heart, the pulsing beat of that pyramid because optimism is a performance-enhancing drug.
If you are optimistic, you will find a way. If you don’t believe it’s doable, it’s not doable. You can’t see the sunshine if you’re living in a black cloud. Optimism is not Pollyanna. I have a whole episode on optimism. Check that one out. That’s what you need. You need best self, best skills, high standards, and the whole thing cloaked in optimism. That is very clearly the foundation for a good life.
What I want to do is try to add even more specifics to it to help you because, like all this stuff, the crazy thing for me always, and you’ve heard me say this many times, “Yeah, I read that book. Yeah, I know about meditation. Yeah, I know about being present, the power now, be present. Yeah,” but none of that matters if you don’t live it.
I was talking to somebody about affirmations, these morning affirmations, and remember, it’s not just saying the words while you’re sipping your coffee quickly or running out the door or answering twenty emails. “I’ll have this, I’ll be this, I’ll do this.” Affirmations need to be connected. Joe Dispenza talks about this in Becoming Supernatural. Those thoughts are worthless unless they’re connected to a deep emotion.
I think that’s part of the reason meditation, whatever version of meditation is for you, it doesn’t mean you have to be the Dalai Lama sitting on a mountain. It can just be walking down the street and noticing every leaf and every tree. Bringing peace to your mind is when you can connect thoughts to feelings. When your feelings are connected to your thoughts, that’s when I truly believe physically, the body transforms mentally dis-ease. It’s disease. It’s the discomfort of the mind manifesting in the body. No matter what happens to me, I own it. I take responsibility for everything because that’s when you can solve anything.
Structurally, how do you do all this? It sounds so overwhelming. It sounds like, “I heard that, I know that,” but do you really? You don’t really do know it until you practice it, until you make it part of your routine. What I’ve done on accident- not really accident- is that I didn’t say, “I’m going to be the architect of the perfect life, and I’m going to start laying it out right now.” Many years ago, I said, “I know I want a better life. I know I’m meant for more,” so I started doing things that seemed to help that.
Creating Mental Notes
Now that I look back, it was the foundation of everything that’s great in my life. It was a plan without really articulating it that way. A big part of what I want to share with you is my notes. I’ve talked about this in other episodes, but it’s really these notes. I can’t believe how many I have and how long they are. The first note is inspirational. I have this note and I’ve talked about these things before.
Anything I hear, see, read, I copy-paste it. I always try to credit the author, whoever it was, if it’s applicable. A lot of it’s just comes out of my mind from probably something I read or heard, but it stuck with me. I don’t want to lose that nugget. Your brain can only hold so many things. That’s what these notes do. These notes create mental tattoos. They make it go deeper because otherwise, you’ll only remember the top few things at any given time. The rest will slowly fade away.
You read a book, you talk to a friend, you listen to a podcast, it becomes one of the top 3, 4, 5 in your mind, but you can only hold so much consciously. By having these notes and looking at them on a regular basis, it creates these mental tattoos. Speaking of that, think about this. Any positive thought you have, put it in permanent marker. Make it a mental tattoo. Any negative thoughts or ideas, those go on the dry-erase board. Those get wiped away. Do not let anything negative become a label, an identifier of who you are.
You are not a sick person. You have a sickness. You are not a bad person. You did a bad thing. You are not heartbroken for life. You’re going through a breakup. Don’t use permanent marker for those things that are transitionary because if you do, you’re making a temporary situation your identity, and it’s not going to do you any good.
The first one I have is this inspirational. It’s the longest one, for sure. If I printed this thing out, I don’t know how many dozens of pages it would be. I scroll through it randomly. I used to read it from the top down every morning. Now, that’s impossible because it’s way too long. What I do now is I just point with my finger and wherever it lands, I start reading there for a few minutes so that these things stay embedded in my mind.
Bringing peace to your mind will allow you to connect thoughts to feelings. Share on XThere used to be this wonderful woman I know. She said to me, “I finally get it. When you use the analogy of learning a language, now it makes sense to me.” When you first learn a language, you’re literally so focused on translating each word that you sound like a robot and it’s not flowing. The more you learn, the more you study, the more conversations you have, the more you’re willing to be laughed at because you’re just going for it.
All of a sudden, you start dreaming in that language. It becomes part of your wiring. You rewire your brain and the way you think and it becomes natural. You ask, “How can I do that?” There’s the answer. It’s a slow rewiring. It’s being comfortable that the compound effect of these daily thoughts you program will start to stick and will start to become part of your being. That’s what this inspirational log does for me.
Love Nadia. I write down, that’s my beautiful wife, the woman of my dreams. Everyday, I write down something I love about her and eventually it starts repeating. There’s so much love about her, but it’s okay if I say it a second time. Her eyes are like the sunrise to me. I love her strength. I love her spirit. I love that she loves who she is unapologetically.
Another note is I am grateful. Every day, writing down something you’re grateful for. It sounds silly, maybe, but it’s not. This is real. This goes out to anybody reading who wants to make a change in their life. I always say if you can wake up and say, “I love my life,” keep doing exactly that. Assuming you’re not hurting anybody, I hope.
If you’re not loving your life, then be honest with yourself. What needs to change? What specifically can I do now to start making that change? One thing I know doesn’t work is retelling the same stories and doubling down on your stories because that’s not going to help you. Power questions. That’s another note I have. I write down all the greatest questions I hear. One of the simplest ones is when somebody says something, you just say, “Is that true?”
Retelling the same stories and doubling down on them will never help you. Share on XYou pause because when you say, “Is that true,” can you know that that’s absolutely true? You’re not trying to be right, because being right is always a mistake. You’re helping that person go deeper in their thoughts to articulate, “Maybe it’s not true or maybe there’s a reason why it’s not true.” These power questions are great for, again, for the people you love and for your business.
I have my list, which I’ve done a whole separate episode on, My Top 10 For A Great Life!, which actually has 15 because I’ve tried to drill down all these amazing things into what I feel like are the real powerful ones, the ones that really are the rocket fuel of a great life because again, we can all only do so much take in so much, be so much, think so much so find the stuff that is the most meaningful to you.
I started a new note not too long ago called The Good Stuff. I am telling you, do not watch the news. Do not read the news. You are not a hero because you’re informed. I’d rather be uninformed and joyful than super knowledgeable and miserable. Especially now, with politics and all this stuff, there is just nothing that’s going to bring darkness to your life more than going down those rabbit holes.
You’ll have a ton more time. You’re like, “I don’t have enough time.” There’s no such thing. We all have so much time. I feel like I have a surplus of time every week because I’m reducing everything down to what really matters. Another one I have is if you’re read before, if not, please go back and read The Personal Constitution. This is the one that’s changed my life the most.
It is my internal compass. It is that thing. I have this internal needle that just sticks at True North. I know who I am, I know who I want to be. I know what I want to accomplish in this life. It’s so rewarding. If you don’t have a filter with which to take in the incredible amount of noise that comes into your life, you’ll never be able to manage it. If you do, it’ll just be luck or random. You’ll have good days and bad days. If you have your personal constitution, it gives you a ton of clarity.
Another one I have is quotes. Very cliché. Everyone’s done it. Nothing new. Remember, it’s the cliché stuff that’s so powerful. There’s a reason why it’s a cliché. It’s because it’s been around forever. Everybody’s looking for this new silver bullet instead of just looking at what’s right in front of them. Here it is, this is the magic. Just do it. These quotes are so powerful. If you reread them like the Nelson Mandela one, I love it. He said when he was walking out of prison, “If I don’t forgive my captors, it’s like injecting myself with poison in an effort to hurt them.” It’s only you that’s going to suffer.
When you reread these quotes regularly, it reminds you, it puts you back on track. All this stuff I’m talking about is like the subliminal captain of your ship. It’s the rudder tapper,. It’s the thing that’s just when you start to get off course. There’s this little tap that puts you back on course. If you don’t do some version of this regularly, by the time you realize you’re off course, you’re 100 miles from where you’re trying to go.
If you practice this stuff, then you barely get off course, and you correct it right away. I always say I fail regularly. I fail often. I even say to people, “The key to success is to fail fast, fail often.” The more you fail, the quicker you fail, the quicker you learn, the better you get. I’ve been guilty of my life of judging myself, like really judging myself. Real estate can get very heated with negotiations, and I’m not proud of some of my reactions and responses over the years.
You can’t beat yourself up. What you can do is say, “What did I do? What could I have done better? How am I going to be better moving forward?” That’s what I keep doing, and I keep getting better. Don’t let setbacks be gargantuan potholes. Take them for what they are. Just a little bumped in the road and you’re back on track.
I have another one that just says, “Listen.” It’s a reminder of all the listening techniques, all the way to listen instead of talk as I sit here and ramble on in my show. It is funny. It’s so cliché, but listening is the magic. The more you listen, the better you are for everybody around you because when you listen, you’re understanding people and what really matters. Especially in real estate, in sales, in the restaurant business, and all my days in the restaurant business, I used to say to my servers and stuff, “We’re not here to sell anybody a special.”
Listening is the magic. The more you listen, the better you are for everybody around you. Share on XIn real estate, I’m not here to sell anybody a house. I’m here to listen and understand what you want. If I don’t listen, I’m not going to know that you’re a vegetarian and I’m going to sit here and pitch you the steak of the day. If I’m not listening, I’m going to be showing you all these houses and they’re going to make you pissed off because I’m not hearing what matters to you. I want to constantly be reminded of good ways to listen, questions to ask to be better.
The last one I have here is why I am, and again, I’ve said this on past episodes, but I say this all the time. In the morning, I say one, and in the night, I say another. I think I’ve said it many times, but I’ll say it again right now for those of you who haven’t heard it. Every single morning, I say, “We are doing it again. Making millions debt-free, loving life, physically fit and healthy, bringing joy to all we encounter, inspiring our children, enjoying quality family time, watching, guiding my children fulfill their dreams, traveling the world, learning overflowing with vigor for life. Most importantly, being present in every moment. I happen to life.”
“On my worst day, I am still the luckiest guy I know. Ride the wave. Empathy is the ability to step into the shoes of another person, aiming to understand his or her feelings, and using that understanding to guide our actions.” I say these slowly and thoughtfully in the morning so that I feel it deeply because each one of these by themselves is really powerful.
At night, before bed, I say, “I am present in every moment, thus very aware of what matters. I solve every challenge that presents itself, turning it into a win for my clients and my family. I am patient. I let things pass by. I control my response. I am always in the right place at the right time, which is why all my dreams come true. I’m blessed with an amazing family that thrives is happy and close.”
“I cherish my wife and children. They cherish me. We always take care of each other. I have more money than I need. I’m so wealthy. I’m able to use it to do so much good. I’m healthy, strong, full life, happy and grateful.” These are things I’ve been saying for decades, slightly tweaked, but it is amazing, the brainwashing that happens. You start changing the way you act, the way you think, the way you respond to other people.
Episode Wrap-Up And Closing Words
You stop being an injustice collector. You stop going around, pointing out, thinking, and identifying what everyone’s doing wrong. Instead, you start thinking about what you can do right. Happiness is getting, joy is giving. Figure out how you can live your best life by bringing joy. Think about that pyramid. Think about maybe creating some of these notes, or think about forgetting all this if it doesn’t land with you. It’s only about trying to help you be the best to you, and you have to figure that out. I hope this is helping you do that. All the best. Much love. Have a beautiful day.
Important Links
- Becoming Supernatural
- My Top 10 For A Great Life! – Past Episode
- The Personal Constitution – Past Episode